


call it what you want

by whitesdaisy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Child Abandonment, Drug Use, Family Issues, Father-Daughter Relationship, First Meetings, Kid Fic, M/M, Single Parent Harry, Smut, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-02-05 01:40:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 31,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12784188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitesdaisy/pseuds/whitesdaisy
Summary: "as much as he wanted to spend the night with zayn, there was a little girl that would be waiting for him in the morning, excited to spend the day with him and he wouldn’t be able to do that if he was exhausted from being up all night."(au where harry is a single parent & zayn is more than just a cute boy at a bar)





	1. my castle crumbled over night

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first time i'm posting a fic, i hope you enjoy it. :-)

“Mummy!”

         The loud sob had Harry’s eyes immediately opening in a panic as he jumped out of bed, running towards the room next to his.

“Mummy! Mummy!”

         Hearing her cry was still the worst thing he had ever heard. It physically hurt, the tightening feeling in his chest that intensified with every tear she dropped, almost as if his heart was a sheet of paper getting crumpled into a ball.

“’M here, ‘m here.”, Harry was quick to say as he climbed into her small, Disney themed bed.

         This was a common night at the small two bedroom flat in Manchester. It all started around two years ago, when  _she_  left. Harry remembers it like it was yesterday; bringing Penelope back to  _her_  house after his weekend was over but receiving no response after an entire hour of knocking and calls that would only lead to voicemails. At this point, Harry was starting to get worried. Paige had never disappeared like that. Yes, there were times when she would call and say he should wait until Monday to bring her home, her words slurred from the alcohol he knew she had a bit too much of. But she never disappeared,  _ever_. That night was tough, for both of them. Penelope wouldn’t stop asking for her mom and Harry wouldn’t stop calling as he tried to calm his 4-year-old down. Eventually, the girl would fall asleep, too exhausted from her tears. But not Harry, he stayed up all night. And every night after that until a call finally came on Thursday.

“Where the hell are you?”, Harry hissed the second she picked up, his blood boiling with rage.

“I’m sorry.”, Paige’s voice was shaky like he had never heard it before. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what? Paige. What are you-”

         And then she hung up. Just like that.

         Every week since that dreadful Thursday had been hell in the Styles household. Every other night, Penny would wake up screaming for her mother. Probably had a dream about her. A dream where she came back, or never left.

“I want Mummy!”, the girl screamed into her father’s tattooed chest. “Why won’t she come back? What did I do wrong, Daddy?”

         Those words were enough to break his heart. This right here was the worse part- the fact Penelope blamed herself. She was too young to understand that sometimes people just… leave. Without a reason, without a goodbye. She didn’t understand that it wasn’t because she wouldn’t eat her vegetables when her mother asked her to, or because of that one time she accidentally spilled grape juice on her mom’s favorite white shirt. Pen was only five, she shouldn’t have had to know what that felt like. She hadn’t known it wasn’t about her and that broke Harry’s heart.

“You didn’t do anything.”, his tone was soothing as he enveloped her in his arms, holding her in his safe grasp. “You’re okay, love. You’re okay.”

         And he let the girl cry, for as long as she needed to. He just sat there mumbling I love yous against her hair and gently rubbing her back until she was sound asleep on his chest.

         Harry could never fall back asleep.

 

+++ 

 

         A groan escaped Harry’s lips as the alarm went off, his eyes burning with exhaustion. 7:30AM, time to get Penny ready for school and then head straight to work. He opened his eyes and blinked a few times, gazing down at the small girl that gripped tightly onto his shirt and let out a whine.

“Can’t I stay home today, Daddy?”, she whimpered sleepily. “Please?”

         Harry wanted to scream, “ _yes! Let’s stay in bed all day! Just me and you. Just me and the best thing that ever happened to me.”_ But he couldn’t. Harry couldn’t afford to skip work and it was too last minute to find anybody to look after Penny whilst he was out so he simply let out a sigh.

“You already know the answer to that, Penny Pen.”, he chuckled as he sat up with her still in his arms, leaning to the side to turn the devil sent alarm off. “But I will let you have whatever you want for breakfast, how does that sound?”

         The little girl groaned for a second, clinging to his neck to fiddle with the hanging necklace before finally giving in.  

“Ice cream.”, she mumbled. “With strawberries on top.”

 

+++

 

         After dropping his daughter off, he headed straight to the all too old record store that revolved around the sign that he had begged his manager to change since he was hired. The yellow paint peeling from the sign cockeyed over the roof of the small building that was tucked in the busy streets of Manchester. Work was fucking awful. Ten hours worth of work from 9AM to 7PM fives times a week. His days were about the same everyday. He’d come in at 9AM to open the shop then spend from about 10AM to 6PM dealing with customers and spent about another hour closing the place before heading home to the one person that made it all worth it.

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”, Penelope squealed as soon as she heard the keys twisting in the doorknob, running up to him with arms reached up.

“There’s my girl.”, Harry grinned as he leaned down to pick her up, a sloppy kiss being smacked against her cheek. “And where’s your aunt?”

“She’s right there.”, Gemma said with a smile  similar to his own as she walked out after Penelope.

“How was she? Did the little monster behave?”, he teased as a “hey!” escaped Penny’s lips.

“Yeah, yeah, she did.”, the older girl said in a casual tone, however the look on her face claimed otherwise. “I’m staying for dinner. Penny and I ordered pizza.”

         The girl in his arms let out an excited chuckle as she clapped and Harry had to force himself to let one out as well. But he wasn’t excited. Gemma only stayed for dinner when they needed to have a talk.

         The hours went by and by 9PM Penelope was safely tucked in her Moana sheets, sound asleep as her thumb rested in between her lips.

“What is it?”, he said as he walked back into the kitchen, being pleased to see it had been cleaned by Gemma as he got Penny into bed. “What did she do?” 

“Got in trouble at school again.”, Gemma sighed. “The teacher wants you to come in for a meeting next Friday at five. I already confirmed you were coming.”

“What?”, his jaw dropped in disbelief. “Why would you say that? You know I can’t. I have work, I- Can’t you go for me? Please? It wouldn’t be the first time.” 

“That’s exactly the problem, Harry! It wouldn’t be the first time.”, she shook her head for a moment. “They want to talk to  _you_. Listen, H, you know I love Penny with everything in me. And I absolutely don’t mind picking her up from school and staying here until you get home. But I’m not her parent, Harry. You are.” 

         Harry allowed his gaze to drop to his socked feet; he knew Gemma was right. His sister had been beyond words incredible since Paige left, but that didn’t mean she could simply take over as Penelope’s new mum.

“I will call off work next Friday.”, he sighed in defeat. “Or ask to leave early. I’ll be there, yeah? I promise.” 

“I know you will.”, Gemma’s tone was now sweet as she pulled her little brother into a tight embrace, mumbling near his ear. “You’re the best father Penny could’ve asked for.”

“Thank you.”, he mumbled softly although he didn’t quite believe that. “See you tomorrow?” 

         The girl nodded and smiled in response before stepping out of the door. Exhausted, Harry rushed through finishing cleaning up, showering and getting into bed before finally getting to rest his tired eyes.

           Just a few hours later, Harry would be woken up by Penelope’s screams.

 

+++

 

         Fridays were Harry’s favorite. Well, one could argue it was  _everybody’s_ favorite but for Harry there was a special reason. Friday meant he got to spend the next 48 and so hours with his favorite person in the world. Just him and Penelope. Just him and the best thing that ever happened to him.

“Honey, I’m home.”, the boy spoke melodically as he walked in with a grin on his face. “Guess what I brought home?”

“What is it? What is it? What is it?”, the little girl would come running towards the front door in a matter of seconds.

“Cadbury buttons!”, he announced as he showed her the purple bag adorned with the image of an orange owl with big chocolate button eyes, Penelope’s favorite.

         The expected squeal left Penelope’s lips as her eyes lit up and a smile took over her face. That was Harry’s favorite sight. Happiness, all over his daughter’s face.  _The best thing that ever happened to me._

“Can I eat it now? Pretty please?”, she pouted.

“After dinner, yeah?”, he knelt down to get on her level, ruffling her hair. “And we can get anything you want.”

“Pizza!”

“Pizza twice in  _one_ week?”, Gemma’s voice was heard just as she leaned against the wall. “Somebody is spoiled!” 

“No, I’m not!”, the bratty girl turned around to stick her tongue out at her aunt. “Daddy is just the best!”

         Harry smiled at her words. Even if it was over pizza, it was reassuring to hear that from Penelope. The past years had been nothing but constantly worrying if he was doing it right, if he was doing the best for her. Being a single father at 23-years-old was just as hard as it sounded.

“Won’t you stay for dinner, Gem?”, he asked as he scooped Penny up in his arms, finally getting back on his feet. “I know you love chocolate buttons.”

Gemma chuckled at his remark. “I do, but I think you and Pen could use some time alone, yeah?”, she smiled softly as she moved to peck the girl’s cheek.

         There was something in the way Gemma was looking at him, a sadness in her eyes. Harry had seen that look before, many times. She was worried. A frown took over as he settled Penelope down.

“Why don’t you go pick a movie for us to watch?”, he asked as he smiled at her. “Daddy will be there in a second, yeah?”

         The curly haired girl quickly nodded in excitement as she ran back into the living room, Harry watching her disappear before letting out a sigh.

“What did I do now?”

“When was the last time you slept, Harry?”, Gemma frowned as she rested a hand on his cheek, her thumb brushing over the dark circles under his eyes. “Or ate. Or got a haircut. Or shaved. Or just took care of yourself in any way.”

“Gem…”, he began, already knowing where this was going.

“No, don’t  _Gem_ me, Harry.”, the older girl was quick to cut him off. “You look terrible. And I don’t mean that in a mean way, you just-”, she paused to let out a sigh. “I think you should move in with mom.”

         Those words alone were enough to have a glare taking over Harry’s expression.

“I’m not moving back home.”, he spoke sternly. “Penny’s life is here,  _my_ life is here, okay? Her school, her friends, my job, you. Penny loves it here. She’s already had enough taken away from her, I can’t do this to her.”

“I know, but- God, how do you expect to take care of her when you can’t even take care of yourself, Harry?”, Gemma snapped at him, but quickly regained her posture. “If you went back home, mom could help take care of her. You wouldn’t have to work so much and be so miserable all the time. You lost so much weight, you clearly haven’t been sleeping. I- just tell me what’s going on, H.”

         Deep down, he knew Gemma was right, but he would never admit that. He couldn’t. Harry got a girl pregnant when he was just 18 and she was 19. This was on him, not anyone else. It was his responsibility to deal with it, to drop everything and focus his life on Penelope.  _The best thing that ever happened to him._

“She’s getting worse.”, he finally gave in. “The dreams, the screaming, the crying- happened every night this week. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to make it better.”

         Gemma’s face dropped at his words. Picturing her little niece and her little brother going through so much pain every night was heart wrenching.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”, the elder frowned as she pulled him into a hug. “You don’t have to do this alone, Harry. I’m here for you, you know that.”

         The man allowed himself to melt in her embrace, squeezing her tightly. This was more for Gemma than him, if he was being honest.

“Because I know what you’re going to say.”, he muttered as he pulled away from the hug. “I’m not making her go to therapy again.”

“Harry-”

“No, Gem! I can’t.”, he was quick to protest. “She hated it, alright? It made her miserable. I will never forget the way she sobbed and begged me to stay home before every therapy session.”

“Fine, fine. I get it.”, Gemma compromised before he raised his voice any louder and risked Penelope hearing their conversation. “But at least take this weekend off? Or Saturday. Just Saturday night. Call your mates, go out for a drink, flirt a little. God, when even was the last time you-“

“Don’t.”, Harry stopped her on her tracks. “Don’t make me think about it, it’s been  _too_ long.”, just the thought of having another body pressed against him, anything other than his cold hands and cold rings was enough to have his blood rushing. “But fine. Saturday night.  _Just_ Saturday night.”, he gave her a look that showed he meant that. “And you will stay with her? And let me call to say goodnight?”

           Gemma nodded, satisfied.

“I will pick her up at six, alright? Then you get to spend most of the day with her and have enough time to make yourself presentable.”, she chuckled lightly. “It will be good for you, yeah? I promise.”

         He nodded in agreement, going in for one last hug before walking her out of his flat.

“Alright.”, he said out loud as the light found its way back to his face, jogging towards the living room . “What are we watching tonight?”

 

+++

 

“I will have my phone on me at all times, alright? You can call me anytime you want. Daddy will come pick you up whenever you want, okay?”, the boy had been rambling for about five minutes now, sitting on the couch with Penelope on his lap and smothering her with kisses.

“I know, I know!”, the girl groaned. “Aunt Gemma said we can go to the movies!”, Penny squealed happily as she pressed her small palm to his face. “We’ll have so much fun, Daddy!”

         Harry couldn’t help but smile at her excitement, her happiness was the most important thing. If Harry was being honest, he was more anxious about spending a night away from her than the little girl was. If it was up to him, he would spend every second of his day with her. Making her smile, taking care of her, protecting her.  _The best thing that ever happened to me_.

         When the sound of keys rattling in the doorknob was heard, his heart dropped to his stomach, holding her tighter.

“She’s here!”, the girl tried moving away from her father’s embrace, whining. “Daddy, let me go.”

         With reluctance, he finally freed her from his grasp, sighing as she ran towards the door.

“Aunty!”, she could hear her squeal from the front door.

         Harry finally got up from this seat, walking towards the door with a weak smile.

“Hey.”, he tried to fake excitement in his voice, but he just couldn’t. 

“Hey, buddy.”, she smiled at him as she leaned down to pick Penelope up. “You can come get her first thing in the morning, yeah? And call me whenever you want.”, she reassured as she pressed a kiss to Penny’s cheek. “We’re gonna have so much fun, won’t we, Pen?”

“Yes! So much fun!”

“And so will Daddy.”, she was now looking at him. “After he showers, shaves and fixes his hair.”, although she was smiling, her eyes were darting to his unkempt features.

“I will, I will.”, he mumbled as he stepped towards the two girls. “Daddy will miss you so much.”, he mumbled against her temple, before a pressing a kiss on the spot. “I will see you tomorrow, okay? I love you.”  _The best thing that ever happened to me._

“It’s just for a night, Daddy.”, she chuckled lowly as she grabbed his face and pecked him. “I love you more!”

         He smiled tenderly at his daughter before finally let go. 

“Promise you will-” 

“I will call if I have to.”, she finished his sentence for him. “I promise.”

         He mouthed a ‘thank you’ before finally allowing the two girls to walk out the door. Watching her leave was painful, but it wasn’t until the door locked that something clicked in him. He hadn’t spent a night without Penny since the day Paige left. He was there, with her, at any time he could. And knowing he was about to spend an entire night without her, gave his chest a tightening feeling. It was weird how suddenly his life changed around. One night he was just fresh out of his teens, getting overly drunk, fucking around and staying up too late with his mates and on the other, he was a drop out, looking for a job and planning to dedicated every second of his life to a little girl he had yet to meet. Penelope was his life, Harry wasn’t exaggerating when he said. And he didn’t regret it, even for a second. Of course, sometimes he missed being carefree, reckless. Or wondered what his life would’ve been like had Paige never got pregnant. Would he have finished uni? Would he be living in London? Or overseas? Whatever the outcome was, he was sure nothing could compare to what he felt the first time he held Penelope in his arms. From that very moment, he knew the universe had blessed him with the greatest gift of all.

_The best thing that ever happened to me._

 

+++

 

“Holy shit!”, Louis exclaimed as Harry approached their booth. “He is  _actually_ here.”

         The green eyed boy rolled his them at his loud friend, although a smile was playing on his lips.

“What? Thought I was going to bail on you?”, he grinned as he took a seat right next to Niall.

“Wouldn’t be the first time, mate.”, the blonde chuckled as he pulled him into a tight embrace. “Missed ye’, buddy.”

“I’m sorry.”, Harry mumbled as he leaned into his touch. “Things just have been complicated since, you know,… Paige.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”, Liam reassured, always with that understanding tone of his. “Penelope comes first.”

“Alright, alright.”, Louis interrupted with an eye roll. “Enough with the chit-chat, lads. Are we drinking or not?”

         They all agreed, of course. By 9PM, the three boys were already laughing a bit too loud and slurring through their sentences, but not Harry. Harry was going to wait until  _after_ he said goodnight to Penny before getting properly wasted. If there was something he would never do, it would be let young Penny see him intoxicated. He knew he was just twenty-three and at twenty-three he should be enjoying his life to the fullest before it was too late. But he wasn’t like most 23-year-old men; most of them didn’t have a 5-year-old to raise on their own. Harry remembers the first night Penelope saw one of her parents drunk. It was Paige, of course. He had knock on the door one, two, three times as he held a sleepy Penny in his arms on a Sunday night, the end of his lawfully given weekend with her. He was about to call the girl when she showed up, stumbling drunk behind them.

“Shit!”, she hissed as she fell to her bare knees in the middle of the hallway. “Fucking stupid shoes.”

         Harry was horrified as he watched the girl angrily remove her high heels, reeking of alcohol and weed. It took her a second until she looked up, giving Harry a confused, blank gaze as her jaw fell slack. Almost as if she had never seen Harry, nor her daughter before in her life. He didn’t remember a time he was this pissed in his life, but he couldn’t scream, he couldn’t curse at her. He couldn’t wake Penny up and allow her to see her mother like that. But his silence wasn’t enough.

“Mummy?”, the three-year-old mumbled sleepily as she looked up from her dad’s shoulder. “Mummy, why are you on the floor?”

         Harry could actually feel his blood boiling in his veins as his eyes burned with the tears of anger that he would not allow to fall. At least not now.

“Don’t look, Pen.”, he muttered as he gently pulled her head back against his shoulder, lightly rocking her. “I’m taking her back to my place.”

         As if something clicked in her, Paige finally managed to speak.

“Penny!”, she mumbled drunkenly as she attempted to get up, only to fall back on the floor. “Mum missed you so much!”

         He could feel the little girl cling onto him, mumbling lowly.

“Daddy, what’s wrong with Mummy?”

         By then, Paige had managed to stand on her feet, walking towards the two.

“Mummy is here.”, she said as she reached her arms forward. “Come on, baby.”

         Harry was quick to step away from the intoxicated woman, holding Penelope closer to his chest.

“You’re not coming anywhere near her like that, Paige.”, he practically growled. “What is wrong with you? You knew I was bringing her back tonight!”

“I’m fucking fine, Harry.”, she snapped back. “Give me her. Right now.”

         Harry flinched at the curse word, he always made sure to not curse around Penny or show any signs of aggression for that matter. He never wanted her to see all the ugliness in this world, not just now, not just yet.

“Watch your mouth.”, he tried his best to keep his tone down, not wanting to startle Penny. “You can come get her tomorrow morning.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are?!”, Paige was now yelling, causing Penelope to shrink in her father’s arms. “I am her mother, Harry! You’re just some dumbass that was to drunk to properly put a fucking condom on!”

         Now she had struck a nerve. Yes, that was true. Most of the fault on how Penelope was made was his. He remembers meeting Paige at a random party on his uni, but the rest of the night is a blackout. The next thing he would remember was waking up next to the girl. Both undressed, both way too hungover to talk about it. And that was about it until three months passed and a hoodie wearing Paige approached him in the hallway, changing his entire life forever with three simple words.

_I am pregnant._

         The second he heard those words, he knew what he had to do. And he did it. He quit uni. Found a job. Was there for every second of the pregnancy and for the years to come. Respected the custody agreement and visitation rights settled by the judge. Every tear, every sacrifice, everything was worth it. He became the father Penelope deserved.  _The best thing that ever happened to me_.

“Don’t you dare talk about her like she was a mistake I made.”, even in moments like this, his first instinct was to protect Penny. “And don’t you dare imply I don’t matter in her life. I’m her father. I’m more of a parent to her than you’ll ever be.”

         Those last words were hurtful, and he probably shouldn’t have said that. But, God, he was  _furious_. How dare she come home wasted out of her mind and think she has any right to judge him?

“Fuck you.”, Paige spat at him as tears began rolling down her face. “Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!”

         And that was what it took for Penelope to finally crack, screaming as tears rolled down her face.

“Stop!”, the helpless girl cried as she covered her ears. “Stop, stop, stop, stop!”

         That was the first time Harry heard that type of pain in Penelope’s voice. The most horrible sound he had ever heard, the sounds he had no idea it would become so frequent in his life just a little over a year from then. Harry could feel himself shaking, his heart racing and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. He didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to protect her, how to make it better.  _The best thing, the best thing, the best thing._

“Get out of here!”, Paige screamed as she charged towards Harry. “Get out of here! And leave her! Leave her or I will call the police!”

         All Harry could do is turn his back to her and hold Penelope the closest he could to his chest as he felt Paige’s hands hitting against his back. God, the scene was a mess. Harry was practically curled against the wall, trying not to cry while Paige’s hands burned against his skin. Penelope screamed into his chest and so did Paige from behind him. She was completely out of her mind, Harry thought she was having a bad trip or a psychotic breakdown. That just wasn’t normal.

“Paige, stop!”, he tried. “You’re going to hurt her. Please, stop. If you want to hurt me, that’s fine. I will let you. But not her. Please, please, please.”, Harry was begging at this point, the tears beginning  to roll down his cheeks.

“What the hell is going on?”, a neighbor finally decided to come check out what was the reason for the chaos on the hallway. “My god! What are you doing? Can’t you see he has a child in his arms?”

         The elderly man was quick to pull Paige away from Harry, holding her tightly as she squirmed in his arms.

“He is trying to take her away! He wants to take my daughter away!”, she screamed.

         Harry turned around mortified, his face red from crying as he tried to think of the words to explain what was actually going on. Turns out Penny did it for him.

“Daddy!”, Penelope cried into his chest. “I want to go home! Mummy is scaring me, Daddy. Please.”

         It didn’t take long for the neighbor to catch on.

“Miss, you’re clearly intoxicated.”, he began in a stern tone as he still held Paige down. “If you don’t calm down, I’m going to have to call the police.”

         Something seemed to click in Paige once the threat was made, finally coming down from her fit of screams.

“B-But I-”

“No buts.”, the man was quick to say. “Go home, son. I will make sure she gets in safely.”

         Harry barely had words to thank the man as he quickly walked past the too, Penelope just now sobbing quietly into his shirt.

“You can come over in the morning.”, he stopped in his tracks to say.

         The second he was sitting on the driver’s seat with Penny on his lap, he broke down. He sobbed like he hadn’t in a long time. Mumbling I’m sorry's and I love yous against her small figure until it was Penny’s turn to calm him down. And she always did. She always knew how to make everything better.

         … So, for the time being, Harry was sipping on a beer. The phone call would come at around 9:20PM, relief taking over as he heard her little voice.

“Daddy!”, Penny squealed from the other line.

“Hey, angel.”, he smiled softly as he signaled to his mates that he would be stepping out for a moment. “Did you have a fun night?”

“We went to the movies! And I ate so much popcorn!”, Harry could hear Gemma chuckling in the background. “Oh, oh, oh. And then we got ice cream! And now I’m in aunty’s bed. It’s so soft, Daddy. Why isn’t  _your_ bed this soft?”

         Harry couldn’t help but laugh at the way she was firing her words at him. He loved knowing she missed him just as much as he missed her, that she still wanted to talk his ear off no matter how much fun she just had with her aunt.

“I’m so glad you had fun.”, he smiled as he leaned against the wall outside the pub, shrinking into himself from the cold. “I can’t wait to see you tomorrow, yeah? We can do whatever you want. Just us.”

“We’ll have so much fun.”, the girl spoke with a yawn. “So much fun.” 

“We will.”, he chuckled lowly at the thought of her eyes drooping as she tried to stay awake for their conversation. “You go to sleep now, yeah? Goodnight, Pen. I love you more than anything.”

“Goodnight, Daddy.”, she mumbled sleepily. “I love you.”

         His heart tightened for a moment, wanting nothing but to be next to her then.

“Hey.”, his sister’s voice came as a whisper. “Having fun?” 

“Not just yet.”, his eyes wandered through the scenario ahead of him. “Didn’t want to be drunk when Penny called.”

“Of course.”, he didn’t have to see Gemma to know she was smiling then. “But you go enjoy yourself now, yeah? I will see you in the morning.”

“Alright.”, there was a moment of silence before he continued. “Thank you, Gem… For everything. I love you.”

“I love you too, you sappy fuck.”, she chuckled at the teasing words. “Be safe and don’t do anything you wouldn’t tell me.”

         Before he could reply, the line went dead. Harry just stood there for a moment, chuckling to himself. Gemma was right after all. A night off was what he needed. The anxiety from being away from Penelope washed away upon talking to her and now he was ready to catch up with his drunk mates. Harry slipped his phone back into his back pocket as he moved away from the wall, just to bump into someone that was just coming out of the pub as he tried to go back in.

“Shit.”, the lad exclaimed as he dropped the pack of cigarettes he carried. “Sorry about that.”

“Oh, it’s alright.”, Harry mumbled in embarrassment. “It was my fault, I was distracted…”

         The last words came out slowly as his green eyes finally met the man he had bumped into and God, was he beautiful. His bone structure seemed to have been carefully sculpted by the gods themselves, jawline sharp and cheekbones sticking out. His honey colored skin was smooth and heavily inked, Harry noticed as his gaze dropped to the red flying lips that rested on the man’s chest, showing through the unbuttoned shirt. He was shorter than Harry, thinner but something about him was still intimidating. Maybe it was the way his light brown gaze was burning him through the long eyelashes, or how he ran his ring coated inked hand through his beard as a subtle smirk formed on his lips. He must’ve been used to people shamelessly checking out like Harry was.

“That’s alright.”, the man finally broke the silence between them. “Had a bit too much, eh?”

“Not at all actually.”, Harry chuckled, the tension finally leaving his muscles. “Barely had a beer.”

“Why?”, the honey skinned boy spoke as he took out a cigarette from his pack, and a lighter from his pocket.

“I was waiting for…”, Harry then paused on his tracks. Telling the hot guy at the pub you had a daughter less than five minutes into the conversation didn’t sound like a good idea. “For somebody to buy me a drink.”

         Harry wanted to slap himself in the face for that one. He didn’t even know if the man was into him. Or into men at all for that matter. But there he was, flirting. Or at least attempting to.

“Is that so?”, a low laughter fell smoothly from his lips before the cigarette was placed in between then, taking a moment to light it up. “Found anybody interesting just yet?”

         Harry was searching the man’s eyes and face, trying to read him. Although the question seemed casual, his tone didn’t. He couldn’t tell if the boy was flirting back or genuinely just trying to pass time with a stranger as he went for a smoke. Harry didn’t realize he was staring at the cigarette between his lips until he spoke.

“Want one?”, he arched a brow as he reached the pack out for him. “I don’t mind sharing.”

“Oh, no, no.”, Harry quickly snapped out of it, what was wrong with him? “I don’t smoke cigarettes…”

“Really? Could’ve sworn you did by the way you were staring at it. ”, the man chuckled as he exhaled the smoke away from Harry. “Hope it doesn’t bother you. Bad habit and all.”

         Harry’s face was burning with embarrassment, he really got caught staring at his lips. They didn’t even know each other’s names and Harry had already put himself out there.

“It doesn’t.”, he quickly said to avoid carrying on the conversation about his fixation with the man’s lips. “Mhm, I guess I will go now… Sorry for bumping into you.”

“Damn.”, he deadpanned as he put his cigarette out. “You bump into me and won’t even offer me a drink as an apology?”

         Alright, he was  _definitely_ flirting now. Not just based on his words, but also on the wicked way his lips twitched into a smirk. Like he could ruin Harry with just one touch. And Harry kinda wanted him to.

“My goal for the night was to get somebody to buy  _me_ a drink.”, he decided to make up for his initial awkwardness, putting his charm back on.

“Fair enough.”, he chuckled. “How about we buy each other a drink then?”

“Sounds good to me.”, Harry replied with that killer loop sided smile of his.

 

+++

 

         His name was Zayn, he was 26 and was originally from Bradford. He was also the most endearing person Harry had ever met. After the first few sentences of awkwardness, talking to him seemed so easy. He was funny and clever with his jokes, he was also either really drunk or really nice to be laughing as hard as he was at Harry’s terrible jokes. But he loved it. Even if Zayn was faking it, he loved that he was. That meant he wanted Harry to like him, right? Which he already did, by the way. His friends knew better than to interrupt, knowing it had been a while since Harry put himself out there. A few texts in encouragement were delivered to him, saying they were going home soon but for him to enjoy himself. And use protection, courtesy of Louis. In midst of conversations about which was the most overrated band in history and a few too many drinks, they somehow ended up in the dimly lit bathroom tucked at the end of the pub.

“Fuck.”, Zayn grunted as their lips eagerly clashed together, his hands gripping tightly onto Harry’s waist.

         That was enough motivation for Harry to part the kiss, moving his lips to Zayn’s perfectly shaped jawline, all the way down to his neck. God, he wanted to taste him everywhere. Leave marks all over, trace his ink with his tongue, bite on all the softest spots. However, it seemed like Zayn was against that.

“Babe.”, Zayn grunted lowly as he held onto Harry’s jawline, aligning their gaze. “No marks, yeah? Got work Monday.”

         Work, right. Harry realized he never asked Zayn what he did for a living. But for all he cared, he hoped he would be doing him for a living in the next few minutes. 

“Sorry.”, he mumbled before attaching their lips back together, not being able to get enough. 

         After that, Zayn didn’t have any more complaints. Soon enough, his hands had moved from his waist, to his ass, gripping tightly as he sucked onto Harry’s bottom lip. Fuck, it had been so long that Harry was already hard in his painfully tight pants. He felt like a teenager having his first sloppy hook up at a party. And he absolutely loved it.

“Holy shit.”, Zayn chuckled lowly as he pulled their hips closer together, Harry’s erection pressing against his groin. “You’re so hard, love.” 

“And who’s fault is that?”, Harry asked teasingly as he stared at the kissed up man in front of him.

         He looked beautiful liked that. Red, swollen lips and messy hair sticking to his forehead. Nobody should be allowed to look that good.

“Guess I gotta take care of it then.”, Zayn trailed off as his hands slowly moved to cup Harry’s dick. “You’re gonna let me take care of you?”

         Harry’s mind seemed to shut down the second he felt Zayn’s grips on him. His hands were firm, strong. A groan escaped his lips as he tipped his head back. Feeling someone other than himself touching him after so long was the most relieving feeling he had ever felt.

“Yeah.”, he slurred out in a heavy breath. “Fuck, yeah. Do whatever you want.”

         Harry knew he looked properly desperate, but he didn’t care. He  _was_ desperate. After months of no sexual interaction, thinking that the universe blessed him with the most beautiful man he had ever seen was an opportunity he would not pass. His eager eyes watched as Zayn began kissing down his neck, his hand fumbling with his buttons to try and get his pants open. A sigh of relief escaped Harry’s lips as his hardened length wasn’t being pressed so tightly anymore. He made sure to take a mental picture of the moment Zayn dropped to his knees while looking up with a grin and a lip bite, he should be considered a sin. A hiss left his lips once Zayn finally put his pants and boxers down, his tip leaking with arousal. Harry couldn’t help but smirk at Zayn’s expression to his naked sex. He seemed surprised, in a good way.

“You’re so hard, babe.”, Zayn mumbled as one hand wrapped around his dick, slowly pumping. “Tell me how you like it.”

         Harry could barely speak through his groans. Zayn’s hand felt so fucking amazing. He gripped him not too loosely, but also not too tightly. His movements were painfully slow, but in a deliciously teasing manner. This was exactly what Harry always liked better in men than women. Men knew how to handle a cock right. They knew where to touch and pull and tease. And Harry fucking loved it. He was never ashamed to admit he swung both ways. I mean, how could he not when man like Zayn were out there to get him? 

“Fast.”, he finally responded in a grunt. “Want your lips.”

         Zayn seemed to like the idea based on how he licked his lips at the mention of sucking Harry off. God, he was so sexy. Everything about him was the epitome of sexy. Harry’s breath almost got knocked out of his chest when, with no warning, Zayn wrapped his lips around his tip. Hissing as he involuntarily pulled his hips forward, however Zayn was quick to push him back, using his hands to keep him pressed at the wall.

“Easy.”, Zayn chuckled lowly as he pulled way. “We’ll get there, love.”

         He really didn’t have to be that attractive. It was almost disrespectful how attractive he was. All the poor man could do was nod in agreement with his words, keeping his gaze down to watch the black haired boy work his magic. Zayn started slow, just working on licking the precome off of Harry’s tip, teasingly running his tongue all the way down to his the base of his cock, just to take his balls into his mouth. 

“Fucking hell.”, Harry growled lowly as he bit down his bottom lip harshly. 

         As embarrassing as it was, Zayn already had Harry about to come. It had been so long, that Harry was extremely sensitive to the slightest touch. However, he couldn’t let Zayn see through him. And he most definitely couldn’t come when Zayn had barely started. He wanted to feel the honey skinned boy for as long as he could. Zayn then finally moved away, now taking his dick halfway into his mouth with hollowed cheeks. Zayn was ridiculously good at sucking him off. A part of Harry was absolutely pissed off that a man this perfect was allowed to even exist. But another part felt like he was unworthy of this moment, this man. The universe really was looking out for him, 

“Shit.”, Harry grunted as his fingers moved down to grip onto Zayn’s hair. “Gonna fuck your mouth, babe. You’re gonna let me, yeah?”

         Zayn simply looked up through his long lashes, an innocent look taking over his doe eyes and Harry could’ve melted on the spot. Once Zayn nodded in agreement, Harry wrapped his fingers tightly in his black hair, to keep him place as he thrusted forward, just once with a loud groan.

“You good, love?”, Harry asked breathlessly upon hearing the gag that escaped Zayn’s lips.

         He gave him a second to get used to it, get settled. Just thrusting slowly and gently until Zayn was keeping up with his movements, bobbing his head along with it. Harry got rougher then. His moans echoed through the room as Zayn hummed around his cock, his nails digging into Harry’s skin. Fuck, Harry had almost forgot how good it felt to feel the wetness of someone’s mouth wrapped around you, the softness of their hallowed cheeks, the sounds, everything. Even if it was just for a night, he was glad he did it.

“Shit.”, Harry grunted as he looked down with hooded eyes. “I’m going to come.” 

         Zayn snapped out of it, looking up at him with wet eyes. Shit, he looked amazing like that. Judging by the way he didn’t move away, in fact just started going faster and adding his hand to the mix, Harry assumed he could come in his mouth. It didn’t take much longer until his thrusts became sloppy, unsteady. His moans were louder, breathless and soon enough he was pressing fully into Zayn’s mouth, letting out a long groan in the form of his name as he released in the boy’s mouth. Harry almost forgot the feeling of a proper orgasm. The build up, the feeling of explosions in his gut, the toe curling, the sweat dripping down his back and the hotness of his skin as his jaw fell slack. He fucking loved it. 

“Fucking hell.”, Harry grunted breathlessly as he chest moved quickly. “That was.” 

         He stopped his words to watch as Zayn pulled away, cleaning the corner of his lips with his thumb before sucking it clean and grinning as he got back on his feet. 

“My pleasure, babe.”, he chuckled as he leaned in to press a kiss to Harry’s lips. 

         Harry allowed his eyes to close for a second, smiling lightly against the kiss. He couldn’t believe this was real, that this  _actually_ just happened. However, he quickly snapped out of it and leaned down to pull his pants back up. A hiss escaped his lips upon feeling the boxer pressing against his still sensitive dick, the tight pants to follow right after. He then brought his gaze to Zayn who watched him closely with a lip bite. He also couldn’t help but notice the outline of his hard dick on his pants. 

“You’re so sexy.”, Zayn mumbled as he took a step towards Harry. 

“Yeah?”, a smirk formed on his lips as he rested his hands on Zayn’s waist. “Let me take care of you now, baby-” 

         Before he could finish his sentence, a loud knock interrupted his words.

“Who’s in there?”, a voice as rough as thunder growled at them. “There’s an entire line out here!”

         Harry’s and Zayn’s eyes met before they both started laughing.

“Coming!”, Harry yelled back as he fixed himself to not look so sexed up.

“Déjà vu.”, Zayn said with a smirk as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Oh, shut it.”, Harry chuckled and rolled his eyes at the sexual innuendo as he moved towards the door.

         Once they came out, they were met with quite a few glaring gazes but Harry didn’t care. The boy felt so happy, light. He really needed this, Gemma was right. A night off to go out, have some drinks, flirt with a cute boy and recklessly mess around in a poorly lit bathroom. He felt his age for the first time in a while and he loved it.

“Sorry I didn’t get to… Help you out.”, Harry spoke as they both headed out of the bar.

“Mhm, you still can.”, Zayn spoke teasingly with a smirk. “My place isn’t too far from here.”

         There was nothing in the world Harry wanted more than go to Zayn’s place right now. Than to explore his body, touch him, feel him. Spend the entire night getting to know every part of him and allowing Zayn to trace every new tattoo he discovered. There was nothing in the world he wanted more than that. Except for Penelope. His number priority.  _Penny always comes first_. As much as he wanted to spend the night with Zayn, there was a little girl that would be waiting for him in the morning, excited to spend the day with him and he wouldn’t be able to do that if he was exhausted from being up all night.  _The best thing that ever happened to me_.

“I actually can’t.”, he spoke with a sigh. “I really should head home… Got stuff to do in the morning.”

         Zayn looked sad, disappointed. Harry wondered what was going through his mind then. If he felt rejected, or as if Harry got what he wanted from Zayn and was ready to fuck off. But that wasn’t the case, it really wasn’t.

“But, tell you what.”, Harry continued. “How about you give me your number? I can call you and we can schedule a time to pick up from where we left off?”

         Zayn’s face lit up at the comment, a smile forming on his lips. He nodded as he took Harry’s phone, entering his number before handing it back to him.

“That sounds good to me.”, he smiled at the taller boy. “Can I at least get one more kiss before you go?” 

         In that moment, Harry figured out he would never be able to say no to Zayn. Him and those big doe eyes of him and smile that could light up a town and perfect silk black hair and sun kissed skin. It was almost as if he was handcrafted by the devil to take over Harry’s senses.

“Of course you can.”

         And so they kissed against the glass window, soft and gentle. It was nothing like their first kiss. His wandering hands now gently played with Zayn’s hair and what once were lip bites and rough grips were replaced by small smiles in between the kiss. Harry was absolutely lost in their embrace, Zayn having to be the one to break after what seemed like a lifetime. 

“You’ll call me?”, Zayn questioned as he leaned in for a few more pecks.

“Yeah.”, Harry mumbled against his lips. “I’ll call.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

 

+++

 

         It took about another 30 minutes until Zayn and Harry could get themselves to let go of each other. But eventually they did. On his way home, it took everything in Harry not to text Zayn. He hadn’t done this in a long while, but he was pretty sure he was supposed to wait a while before contacting him or whatever. He didn’t want to come off as desperate or too clingy just yet. Harry then chuckled to himself, resting his head against the leather seat. He was really doing this again. Feeling butterflies in his stomach as he daydreamed about the cute boy he just made out with. It was a nice feeling. A feeling he missed. He couldn’t get the stupid grin out of his face, and Zayn out of his mind. Maybe it was nothing, maybe they really weren’t as good of a match as he initially thought. Wondering where this was going was all too exciting. In the shower, the image of Zayn’s lip wrapped around his cock creeped back into his mind and he had to stop himself from jerking off to it. God, he really was so into him. Harry decided he would text Zayn in the morning, something cute like a good morning text. But for now, he allowed himself to rest against the soft pillow, eyes closing as he fell in a deep sleep for the first time in a while.

 

+++

 

         Harry woke up confused, blinking quickly as he searched for his phone. 3:28AM. Why was he awake? He had to squint his eyes for a moment, taking his time to get used to the sudden brightness. And that was when he saw it.

 _Missed call from Gemma Styles_.

         His heart dropped to his stomach as his vision turned into a blur. Suddenly the air was to thick to breathe and he was too dizzy to even consider sitting up. Harry had take a moment to get himself together. With shaky hands and the worst in mind, he dialed Gemma back as he tried to breathe properly. She took no longer than five seconds to answer.

“Is she okay? What’s wrong?”, Harry stumble over his words before Gemma got a word out.

         The heartbreaking sound of Penelope’s screams could be heard on the background and Harry could feel his eyes watering.

“Harry.”, Gemma sounded like she had been crying, stuttering through her words. “I’m sorry, she won’t stop crying. I don’t know what to do.”, a sob escaped her lips. “She kept asking for Paige and then you. She is freaking out, Harry. She thinks you left her too. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think she can breathe properly. What do I do? Tell me what to do.”

         Harry felt the bile rising in his throat but he held it back. Penelope thought he left her. Harry wanted to cry and yell at himself for even thinking being away from Penelope when her night terrors had been so frequent was a good idea.

“I’m coming over.”, Harry said as he already hopped out of bed. “Tell her I’m coming.”

         Harry didn’t even bother to put a shirt or shoes on, he just jogged to his car wearing nothing but his sweatpants, trying not to break down crying as he did so. Thinking that he was the cause of Penelope having one of the worst episodes she’s ever had broke his heart. He was so selfish for leaving her and for what? A few drinks? A quickie in a pub bathroom? God, she was worth so much more than that. She was worth so much more than anything.  _The best thing that ever happened to me_.

         In no time, Harry was pulling up at Gemma’s house. She didn’t live too far, but he was lucky that it was so late that the streets were deserted. God forbid the amount of red lights and stop signs he sped through. He could hear Penelope screaming from outside the house, his legs weakening as he made his way towards the door. Harry pressed the doorbell a few too many times, getting nervous as Gemma took her time to answer the door. 

“Where is she?”, he said the second she opened the door, walking past her.

“My room.”, Gemma replied with a broken voice. 

         Harry practically ran up the stairs, Penny’s screams getting louder as he did so. The sight he saw as he walked in the room was horrifying. Penelope was curled against the corner on the room, face red from crying and what it seemed like scratches on her sensitive skin. Had Penelope done that to herself? She looked so scared. So hurt. Harry wasted no time before sprinting towards her and dropping to the floor, his arms quickly scooping her up and pressing her safely to his chest.

“’M here, ’m here.”, he spoke shakily. “Daddy is here, Penny. Daddy is here, okay?”

         Penelope seemed to be having a hard time to realize her father was there for a moment, for she still wouldn’t stop crying nor react to his touch. Harry just kept hopelessly kissing her and repeating the same reassuring words.  _I’m here. Daddy’s here. I’m sorry. I love you, I love you, I love you._ Eventually, she began coming down from whatever alternative reality she was stuck on. Her weak hands held tightly onto him as her screams turned into quiet, shaky sobs that were being muffled by her face burying on his chest. Harry just stood there, rocking her, kissing her, muttering the words she needed to hear.  _I’m here. Daddy’s here. I’m sorry. I love you, I love you, I love you._ And then, she stopped. Her breathing calmed down and he no longer could hear her crying. Just like that, Penelope had fallen back asleep on him. She breathed peacefully as her tiny figure still held tightly onto him. Harry then let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in, relief taking over him. He gently stood up from the ground and carried her towards the bed, setting her down and pulling the covers up. He took another moment to watch her and caress her cheek with his knuckles.

“I love you.”, he mumbled brokenly. “I’m sorry. I love you. You’re my life.”

_The best thing that ever happened to me._

 

+++

 

         Harry didn’t remember falling asleep, but he did. It took him a moment to take in his surroundings, blinking slowly in confusion until he remembered he was in Gemma’s house. He then quickly sat up, nervously looking around as he couldn’t see Penelope anywhere near, his heart racing once again. Until he heard her sweet laughter coming from down stairs, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. A smile immediately formed on his lips as the scent of breakfast being cooked took over. He walked down the stairs, his grin growing wider as Penelope’s laughter grew louder, also noticing a familiar song from a Disney soundtrack playing in the kitchen. Penelope sounded happy. If she was happy, he was happy.  _The best thing that ever happened to me_.

“Well, what are you bunch up to?”, Harry said with a grin and hoarse from sleep voice as he walked in the mess of a kitchen.

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”, Penny’s neck snapped towards his direction with a smile before running up to him with her arms reaching up. “We’re making breakfast!”

         Harry picked her up with a smile, pressing a sloppy kiss to her cheek that would cause Penelope to groan and wipe her skin as she usually did. He couldn’t help but notice that the scratches were still very vivid on her pale skin causing him to press a few more kisses to the spot despite her complaints.

“We were just about to wake you.”, Gemma said with a smile as she placed the just cooked food on three different plates. “You were knocked out.”

“Really?”, he chuckled softly as Penny played with his messy morning hair. “What time is it?”

“11AM.”, Gemma chuckled as she brought the plates to the table. “Sleepy head.”

“Can we eat in the living room?”, Penny asked with a pout. “Daddy and I always watch cartoons during breakfast.”

         Harry knew that Gemma would have said no if this was any other situation. Eating one the couch was a pet peeve she took after their mother. However, knowing what Penelope went through, she didn’t have the heart to say no.

“Of course.”, she said with a smile. “Why don’t you go choose something and we’ll bring the plates over?” 

         Penny nodded excitedly as Harry set her down, kissing the top of her head before patting her bum and watching her waddling towards the living room with a giggle. He let out a sigh as he could feel Gemma’s gaze on him, already knowing what was to come.

“That happens almost every night? What I saw yesterday. That’s what’s been keeping you awake?”

         Harry nodded slowly. “Last night was somewhat worse, but yes. That’s pretty much what happens.”

“Harry-”

“No, Gem. We’re not having this conversation again. No therapy, no doctors. She hates it.”

“She fucking needs it, Harry!”, she snapped at him before lowering her voice. “This isn’t normal. This isn’t healthy. How did she go from the state she was in last night to the way she is right now? Harry, she doesn’t even remember what happened. Does she? Have you ever asked her?”

“I- No! Of course not. Why would I want her to relive it?”, he spoke in annoyance. “But, no. I don’t think she remembers it, her old therapist said children tend to not remember night terrors. Like they aren’t aware of what’s happening, they’re still asleep or whatever.” 

“Please, consider taking her back?”, Gemma sighed. “I’m worried about her, she literally hurt herself last night. I just-”

“Gem.”, he interrupted her with a frown. “Can we  _please_ not do this now? I promise I’ll think about it later, but right now I just want to be with my daughter. Please.”

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry.”, she mumbled as she picked up her plate. “Last night just really freaked me out. That’s all.”

         Harry mumbled a response that Gemma never got to hear for she walked right past him, she was clearly annoyed he wouldn’t do what she wanted. But he knew what was best for his daughter and she had to understand that. He let out a groan before picking up the plate and putting on his best smile as he jogged into the room. 

“So, what are we watching?”

         The good morning text to Zayn was long forgotten.

 

+++

 

         The next days went by as normal. Penny would still have her night terrors and wake up just in time for breakfast like nothing had happened. He’d get her ready for school, go to work, and come back home to take Gemma’s place. He could tell his sister still hadn’t forgot about the events that took place Saturday night by the way she looked at him and the tone of her voice when they spoke. However, he was grateful she hadn’t brought it back up. Everything was the same.

         … Except for Zayn.

         After the shock from Saturday, the black haired boy came to his mind. That’s all he could think about when Penny wasn’t around to keep his mind occupied.  _Zayn, Zayn, Zayn_. Harry wanted to call him, so bad. Wanted to hear his voice, ask about this day, ask him out on a proper date. It was driving him insane. Harry was so desperate that he gave into his needs and got off to the memory of Zayn sucking him off. His soft lips, warm mouth. His long lashes and strong hands. Fuck, Harry had never come that hard on his own before, calling out Zayn’s name lowly. However, he knew he couldn’t. Harry would never be the guy that could be in a relationship, at least not for another few years. Maybe when Penny was older and understood things better. Just maybe. After Saturday night, Harry realized he could never make it work with Zayn. He wouldn’t be able to stay out too late nor sleep over. He couldn’t just bring Zayn into his house either. Harry would never risk letting Penny get attached to somebody that could slip away at any moment. That considering Zayn would be okay with the fact he had a daughter. God, how could he had been so naive? Thinking that there was any possible scenario in which this could work out. The boy considered sending him a text, an apology. One of those “right person, wrong time” cliche type of things but he decided it was better if he just disappeared. If Zayn didn’t have his number, he could simply go on with thinking Harry was just an asshole. If Zayn thought Harry didn’t care, it would be easier for him to let it go. So, that’s what Harry did. Or better saying, what he didn’t do.

“ _Don’t forget you have a meeting with Penny’s teacher tomorrow at 5PM. I will stay with her until you’re home. Love you. X_ ” 

         Harry groaned upon receiving the text. He had totally forgot about the stupid meeting. How was it Thursday already? Luckily enough, he had already told his boss he needed to leave earlier that Friday who Harry could swear seemed happy he was asking to leave early. Maybe he really did overwork himself. It wasn’t fair that the meeting was on a Friday though. Fridays were Harry’s favorites and were supposed to consist of nothing but counting down the hours to be with his favorite person after a long day of work. But instead, he was walking through the colorful hallways of St. Mary’s while wearing his best father clothes, looking for room 103. By the time he was standing at the door, it was 4:57PM. Just in time. He knocked on the door a couple times and waited. 

“You must be Mr. Styl-”

         The teacher never finished his sentence, blinking just a couple times as he stared at Harry. Now, Harry was a firm believer that the universe had been particularly wicked with him but this time it had outdone itself because standing there with glasses, khakis and a tucked in sweater was none other than Zayn.


	2. windows boarded up after the storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all the support so far, it makes me quite happy! :-) also, i'm still messing around with the formatting of the chapters so bare with me! hope you enjoy. :-)

This could not be happening, it just couldn’t. What were the odds that out of every person that resided in Manchester, out of _all_ of them, Zayn was Penelope’s teacher? Zayn, the cute guy from the pub. Zayn, the guy he made out with in a poorly lit bathroom. Zayn, the guy who sucked him off and didn’t even mind he didn’t get anything in return. Zayn, the guy he was supposed to call and didn’t. Fuck. Harry was counting on never seeing Zayn ever again, he wouldn’t know what to say if he saw Zayn again after making a complete asshole out of himself. But here he was. Standing in front of him in an endless staring contest that had the butterflies in his stomach performing some sort of agonizing dance number.

“What the fuck.”, Zayn was the one to break the silence as he blinked a few times, the confusion in his face slowly being taken over by anger. “What the actual fuck is this? How did you- First, you don’t call me. Then you somehow track me down and show up at my work almost a week after you made me look a bloody fool? Is this your sick perception of a romantic act or something?”

Harry could actually hear the anger dripping off of his words. He wondered what exactly went through Zayn’s mind this past week. Had he kept his phone close, waiting for a call? Did his heart skip a beat whenever he got a text? Did he wonder what he did wrong? Or felt used. Shit. Judging by the look on his face and the tone in his voice, he probably did all of the above. That wasn’t the bigger issue now though. Zayn had just accused him of being some sort of stalker, or creep and Harry was none of those things. Yes, he could handle being perceived as a total asshole that just wanted to get his dick wet and call it a day. But a fucking stalker? That he wasn’t.

“No, no, no, no.”, he spoke in a hurry as his cheeks heated up. “That wasn’t-”, the boy let out a sigh. “I _am_ Mr. Styles. Penny’s father.”

Harry could practically see a “ _loading…_ ” sign on Zayn’s forehead as he stared blankly at him, processing the piece of information that was just given to him. The honey skinned man blinked a few times before a laughter escaped his lips.

“Are you fucking with me?”, that was all Zayn could let out at first. “ _You_ are Penny’s father? _You_ ? Out of all people in Manchester, _you_ are the father of one of my students? This has to be a joke.”

Now Harry was the one getting angry. Why was it so surprising that he was Penelope’s father? He said he was, why was the man doubting him? The fact Zayn would rather believe he was some sort of crazed stalker rather than a father was ridiculous.

“No, I’m serious!”, he spoke in a defensive tone. “I know I’m young and don’t exactly look like a father or whatever. But I am her father. Ever since December 13th of 2012 at 8:43PM.”

That seemed to do the trick for Zayn. He still stared at him in disbelief, but Harry could tell he was convinced. God, this was awful. Harry thought the universe was finally working on his behalf when he first met Zayn, but now he was convinced it was simply out to get him. How was he supposed to sit here and have a chat about his daughter when every time his gaze fell to Zayn’s lips all he could think about was how they looked wrapped his cock?

“I-”, he let out a sigh. “I’m sorry. You’re just… Young and we- My god. I can’t believe I really-”, Zayn shook his head as he moved to close the door behind them. “Listen, _nobody_ can know about this, alright? I’m not out. At least not at work. And a father of a student of mine? Fuck, other parents would raise hell if they found out. This could cost me my job so… Don’t.”

Zayn rambled as he motioned for Harry to follow him, taking a seat on his desk and signaling for Harry to take a seat on one of the way too small for a grown man chairs in the room. And so Harry did. Took a seat on a purple plastic chair that wasn’t even remotely comfortable but he wasn’t about to complain about that. Harry didn’t know how to act. Zayn made it clear he wanted to keep the happenings of Saturday a secret, which he didn’t mind at all. But what was he supposed to do _now_? Just act as if nothing happened? He could do that. He could sit there for about 30 minutes and do what he came to do: be Penelope’s father.

“I know it’s weird, or whatever.”, Zayn spoke as if he had just read Harry’s thoughts. “But I’m not supposed to discuss my personal life at work, so I won’t. We’re going to sit here, talk about Penny and go on with our lives.”

That saddened Harry for some reason. Zayn really didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. Had he hurt him that badly? I mean, they were together for hardly a night. It wasn’t like he made any promises.

Except he did.

 _Promise_ . Harry remembered muttering those words against Zayn’s lips. God, he really was an asshole. Harry really promised Zayn he would call, made him believe he wasn’t just using him to get off. This was something Harry hated, breaking people’s trust. He truly didn’t have the right to do that to Zayn, to make him feel so _used_. However, Zayn clearly wasn’t interested in hearing his side, or even discussing what happened at all for that matter. So, he wasn’t going to.

“Alright.”, Harry finally spoke with a sigh. “What did Penny do?”

“She has been really… mean to the kids.”, Zayn started as he fixed his glasses. “She won’t share toys, won’t participate in activities. Penelope has also been quite aggressive. She pulls on their hair, pushes them over. I’ve talked to your sister Gemma about this, said she would have a talk with you about it. Did she?”

Harry had to take a moment to process all of this. To begin with, the girl he just described sounded nothing like his Penelope. Harry truly believed she didn’t a single mean bone in her body, and he wasn’t saying this just because she was his. Penny was sweet and kind and cried for an entire hour when Harry accidentally stepped on a ladybug at the playground. She never showed any signs of aggression at home, never raised her voice nor talked back. Penny was a good girl, unbelievably well behaved. Secondly, what did he mean he talked to Gemma about it? She always gave him a full report of her meetings with the teacher. She never mentioned it was this bad, why would she keep that from him? Gemma’s insistence on getting Penelope back to therapy was finally making sense.

“No.”, he finally replied. “She didn’t.”

“That’s what I thought.”, Zayn spoke as his eyebrows raised for a second, unamused. “That’s why I asked you to come this time. Anyway, what’s weirder is when I ask Penelope why she did what she did, all she can do is cry. It makes no sense. I ask her why won’t she be nice and she just starts crying. Mentioned something about her mother once-,”

That was when Zayn had to stop in his tracks. Harry was confused as to what was going through his mind. In the time space of five seconds, Zayn’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at his desk before his jaw falling slack and his eyes widening as he looked up in disbelief.

“Holy shit.”, he spoke slowly, hitting every syllable. “Holy fucking shit. Her mother- Are you married? Is this why you didn’t call me? Bloody hell. Bloody fucking hell.”

Harry wanted to hit his ahead against the table. How did Zayn go from, “let’s keep it professional” to accusing him of being a cheating husband? Harry’s mind was still preoccupied with the heartbreaking thought of Penny crying in school and talking about her mother. He couldn’t do this right now.

“What? No, I-”, he ran a hand through his hair, pulling at it for a moment. “Paige-”

It was Harry’s turn to stop in his tracks. He didn’t feel like disclosing the status of Paige in Penelope’s life, he didn’t want her to be treated differently over it. To be treated as if she was broken. Fragile. Penelope was strong, stronger than Harry could ever dream of being.

“Paige and I aren’t together.. In fact, we were _never_ together for that matter. Not for more than one night.”, his tone was cold, short. “Can we please go back to talking about Penny?”

“Oh, right. Sorry about that.”, Zayn muttered in embarrassment, Harry hated that he could tell how the happenings from Saturday and everyday after that were eating Zayn up. “As I was saying, she just cries. One time she had said something about wanting her mother. I asked her if she wanted me to call her and she said I couldn’t.”

Lately it seemed like all Harry’s heart did was break. The man thought the one time Penny felt the pain of abandonment was in her sleep. He thought she wasn’t so aware of what had actually happened. A part of him also felt angry that Gemma thought it was okay to keep this from him. How was he supposed to help his daughter when he wasn’t even aware she needed help?

“I see.”, he mumbled as he played with the ring on his finger. “I will ask her about it, try to understand why this is happening. Hopefully it won’t happen again. However, _if_ it does, I would rather if you called me instead of discussing this with my sister from now on.”

Zayn let out a low laughter then.

“You want me to call you?”, he shook his head. “How ironic.”

Harry couldn’t help but let out a scoffed laughter as well. It really was ironic. Everything about this situation was nothing but one big irony.

“About that…”, Harry trailed off, biting down his lip nervously for a second. “I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it, but can I at least explain myself?”

“No.”, he was quick to say, but continued upon seeing the frown on Harry’s features. “I mean like I get it. You needed somebody to get you off. I’m hot. I was available. One night stand and all. I get it.”, he paused for a moment. “I just wish you had been straightforward about it, you didn’t have to act like you cared about me. Didn’t have to make me look like an idiot waiting for a call that never came.”

“That wasn’t why I didn’t call.”, Harry mumbled. “Look, I liked you, yeah? I _like_ you. I swear I do and I wanted to call you, I was going to but- it’s just… honestly, I don’t want to talk about it, but just know I wasn’t just using you. It’s just complicated.”

Harry could tell Zayn wasn’t buying it, not that he expected him to. But there was nothing else he could to. He was as honest as he could be without saying too much and if Zayn didn’t believe him, there was nothing he could do.

“It’s whatever.”, Zayn finally said with a shrug. “I’m over it. I’m your daughter’s teacher, you’re my student’s father. That comes first. Penelope comes first.”

“ _Penelope comes first_.” Harry could cry at hearing that, his mantra coming out of Zayn’s mouth. He then found himself regretting not calling Zayn once again. Zayn seemed not to mind the fact he had a kid, I mean how could he? Zayn practically had tens of children of his own. Besides, he just said Penelope comes first. He understood that Harry was a father before he was anything else. That was nice. Somebody understanding that children always came first was nice.

“She does.”, Harry agreed with a smile. “Well, I better get going. Promised Penny we’d go to the movies tonight and all.”

Zayn smiled at the thought. “You go do that.”

Zayn got up from his chair and fixed his tie. Harry couldn’t help but notice how good Zayn looked like that. When they first met, the thick accented man looked like a completely different person. He had a nose ring on and his sleeve of tattoos were showing through his rolled up sleeves, looking like the personification of sin with his all black outfit and leather jacket. This Zayn looked sweet. Innocent with his glasses and long hair pulled back in a ponytail, being secured by a headband on top. Harry also noticed the earrings and industrial piercing adorning his ears that were covered by his hair the night they met.

“Well, it was nice seeing you again.”, Harry spoke and immediately regretted as he was led towards the door, why did he have to be so awkward?

“Yeah.”, Zayn chuckled lightly as he opened the door for him. “I will make sure to call if Penny acts up again.”

Harry nodded and thanked him with a smile as he walked out. And he just stood there for a second at the _door_ . He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t get himself to move. The green eyed man turned around to watch as Zayn made his way back his desk. Zayn was beautiful. Harry noticed he never described Zayn as beautiful. Yes, he had perceived him as hot, attractive. But he was just so… pretty. The spark in his brown eyes, his perfectly sculpted nose, the shape of his lips. Zayn was beautiful and maybe that’s why Harry couldn’t move. Because he had a chance to start _something_ with that beautiful boy and he wasted it. Or didn’t he? Maybe just _maybe_ there was still a chance he could fix it. Harry’s hand moved to his back pocket almost involuntary, taking out his phone as he scrolled all the way down his contact list, dialing Zayn’s number. Harry watched as the eye catching man’s expression changed, he his thumb being stopped from tapping his phone. His eyebrows furrowed and Harry knew it was probably because he didn’t recognize Harry’s number.

“Hello?”

“Am I too late?”

Harry spit the words out, no hesitation.

“What?”

Harry could see the way Zayn looked confused by the question.

“I told I’d call you.”, Harry explained as he kept his eyes focused on Malik. “I’m calling you now.”

Harry saw the moment it clicked in brown eyed figure, the realization that it was Harry on the line. He could see a small smile form on his lips and that was when he looked up, his eyes catching Harry’s mint colored ones.

“You know I can see you, right?”, Zayn chuckled as he shook his head, still watching Harry watch him.

“Oh, shit. Hold on.”, Harry stumbled through his words as he took a step to the side, standing behind the wooden door rather than the glass window. “Alright. So, am I too late?”

Harry couldn’t say the butterflies were calm as he waited for Zayn to speak, because they weren’t. For every second Zayn remained silent, they picked up their paced in his stomach. He leaned in slightly, peeking through the glass and noticing Zayn wasn’t looking at him anymore.

“Bye, Harry.”, Zayn simply said as a chuckle escaped his lips.

Once the line went dead, Harry could see Zayn smiling down at his phone.

 

+++

 

Later that day, Harry did as promised and took Penelope to the movies. It was quite the fun evening. Penelope stacked up her father’s arms with popcorn, sodas and more candy than it was probably recommended to eat at once, before both of them made a fast break into the theatre off to the left of the snack bar that was to be showing the new LEGO film. The movie was cute, got a few laughs out of Harry. But that’s not what he was focusing on. Penelope was just so damn happy. The smallest joke would have her cracking up and every other scene she would poke him and whisper, “ _Daddy, look!”_ Or “ _Did you see that?”_ Or any other comments she had to make, always keeping her voice down like he taught her to do when they were in the movies. Halfway through it, Penny climbed on his lap like she’d do at home and he got to cuddle her for the rest of it. This was what Harry envisioned as perfect Friday night. Call him sappy, but Harry genuinely loved spending time with his daughter. _The best thing that ever happened to me_.

They left the movie with the promise to go out and buy Penny her very first LEGO set soon. Harry liked spoiling Penny every now and then, he couldn’t help it. The smile on her face, the spark in her eyes and the way she’d hug him so tight and mumble a sweet _I love you, Daddy_ was enough to melt his heart completely. The pair stopped by a frozen yogurt shop and had a late night sweet treat before heading home. Harry looked back through the rear-view mirror to check on Penelope during the drive, just to find her leaning against the door with closed eyes. He chuckled to himself thinking of how grumpy she would bed when he woke up her up to shower and brush her teeth. And that was exactly what happened. The only reason why Harry  had managed to get her properly cleaned up for bed was promising she could sleep in his bed that night. Not that he minded that, at all. He loved falling asleep with her safe in his arms, that’s what they did for a long time after Paige left. Soon enough, Penny was tucked in bed with him, comfortable in her Tinkerbell pajamas.

“Hey, Pen?”, Harry mumbled as he ran a hand through the sleepy girl’s hair whose eyes were locked on the movie playing on Harry’s laptop.

“Yeah, Daddy?”, she mumbled in a barely understandable manner, her thumb in between her lips.

“Guess who I saw today?”, he spoke softly, tip toeing around his words. “Mr. Malik.”

Upon the mention of the teacher, Penny’s head shot up with wide eyes and a bright smile.

“Did you really?”

“Yes, yes.”, he chuckled at her excitement. “Do you like Mr. Malik?”

“I love him, Daddy!”, she squealed. “He is so nice and funny and he always hangs the drawings I make in the classroom!”

Harry then remember seeing tons of drawings in Zayn’s classroom, he bet if he had paid closer attention, he would’ve recognized Penny’s. For some reason, knowing that Penelope liked Zayn this much warmed his heart. It made him happy.

“He told me he really likes you as well.”, Harry continued as he tried to slowly bring up the topic. “But he also told something else.”

“What did Mr. Malik say, Daddy?”, Penelope asked, already distracted by the movie again.

“He said you… weren’t being so nice lately.”, Harry mumbled. “Do you want to tell Daddy why, Penny? You’re always such a good girl.”

Harry could noticed Penelope’s demeanor change at topic, her small figure shrinking as she frowned.

“No.”, Penny mumbled.

“Why not, Pen?”, Harry frowned as he pulled her closer to him. “You always tell Daddy everything.”

“I don’t want you to be sad.”, the girl spoke through a pout.

“I promise I won’t be sad.”, Harry reassured although he wasn’t so sure about that. “I just want to know so I can help you, yeah?”

Penelope thought about it for a moment before nodding in agreement. “It’s not fair, Daddy.”, Penelope spoke sadly as she turned to look at him. “Coco’s Mummy picks her up everyday. So does Alice’s and Jack’s. Why does Mummy never pick me up? Or come to say hello.”

Penny’s lips were quivering now and Harry’s heart was yet again breaking. Penelope was right. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that her mom wouldn’t pick her up and it wasn’t fair that she had to feel jealous of other kids because they got to see their mothers and she didn’t. Harry tried to keep himself together as he spoke.

“It isn’t fair.”, he reassured her feelings. “But you can’t be mean to them because of it, yeah? It’s not their fault. You’re always so nice to me, Pen. It’d make Daddy so happy if you were nice to them too.”

“But they’re mean to me, Daddy!”, Penny was now crying as she held tightly onto her father. “They make fun of me because Aunty picks me up everyday. They ask me where Mummy is and when I say I don’t know, they laugh at me.”

Harry was furious then. How could somebody be so cruel? To make fun of Penelope for something like that. Harry had to remind himself they were just kids and didn’t know better. That they weren’t mean spirited, they just didn’t understand what this all meant. What it meant for Penny.

“Did you tell Mr. Malik that?”, he mumbled against her hair. “That they are mean to you.”

Penelope shook her head sadly.

“Why not?”

“I don’t want him to make fun of me.”, she mumbled. “Or stop hanging my drawings in the classroom.”

“He would never do that.”, Harry spoke with confidence. “I think you should tell him, baby. This way he can ask them to stop and you don’t have to be mean to them anymore.”

“I don’t want to, Daddy.”, Penny whined as she tugged on his shirt. “I’m scared.”

“What if I go talk to him with you?”, he pressed a kiss to her head. “We can go talk to him together. How does that sound?”

She nodded with a sniff. “Okay, Daddy.”

After that, Harry focused on consoling his little girl. He repeated played with her hair and kissed her softly, holding her tightly against his chest. He mumbled about how amazing she was and how much he loved her. _The best thing that ever happened to me_. He kept doing that until Penny was sound asleep on his chest, her thumb back into her mouth and he smiled as he watched her chest move up and down calmly; she was at peace.

It only took a few hours until she was screaming.

 

+++

 

Saturday was alright. They cooked pasta together and then went out to get Penny the LEGO set he promise. The afternoon was spent building the set and playing with it as Harry purposely ignored Gemma’s attempts to contact him. Saturday was usually the day she would call and check up on them but he really didn’t feel like talking to her. Harry was still upset at his older sister for not telling him what was going on with Penelope. Why wouldn’t she? He was her only parent. If anybody had to know about Penny’s problems, it was him. By evening, his mother Anne called and they facetimed for a while, Penelope squealing as she said she couldn’t wait to see grandma and grandpa on Christmas. Just like Gemma, his mother noticed something was wrong with him. The bags under his eyes, the weight loss. He didn’t say anything about what was going on with Penelope, simply lied and said he had the flu. Harry didn’t like worrying his mother, she didn’t even find out Paige was gone until months after it happened. Anne was angry he didn’t tell, but she chose to offer him a hug rather than show that. He appreciated that. His mother always knew what he needed.

“What are we having for dinner?”, Penelope asked as they laid on the couch, watching a cartoon as the little girl rested on his lap.

“What do you want, doll?”

As expected, Penny wanted pizza. So, that’s what they had. By 11PM, the girl was sound asleep in her bed and Harry was laying on his, staring at the ceiling. He texted Gemma that they were both fine and he’d talk to her tomorrow. Alone with his thoughts, he thought about Zayn. By this same time a week ago, he had his lips locked on Zayn’s in the bathroom of a shit pub. He wondered what he was doing tonight, or _who_ he was doing. Was last Saturday something Zayn usually did? Or was Harry an exception, something reckless for him to keep a memory of. Harry hated that he was thinking about this. About Zayn finding a new guy at the pub, long forgetting about that asshole Harry Styles who didn’t call. Did he kiss him like he kissed Harry? Like he could live off of it. Did he touch him with the same desire? The same passion. Did he also drop to his knees, looking up with his long lashes and drove him wild? Next thing Harry knew, his hand has slipped under his sweatpants, wrapping around his dick. This had become a bad habit, jacking off to the thought of Zayn. But he couldn’t help it, he just couldn’t. It was just one night, but he wanted Zayn _so_ bad. He was nothing like anybody he had ever met in every possible way. Maybe he should call Zayn, or text him. Tell him he couldn’t stop thinking about him. But then again, he didn’t want to interrupt in case Zayn really had found himself another Harry for the night. Plus, he would look stupid telling Zayn he was thinking about him when another guy was down his throat. Soon enough, he was releasing all over his stomach, a moan in the form of Zayn’s name escaping his lips as he panted lightly. Ashamed, he got up and cleaned himself up before falling back into bed.

He fell asleep to the mental image of the way Zayn tucked his tongue in between his teeth when he laughed and woke up to the way Penny screamed for her mother.

 

+++

 

Sundays were usually quiet in the Styles household. Both Harry and Penelope were too lazy to do anything so the day was mostly spent by Penny sprawled on the floor coloring and drawing while watching TV and Harry attached to the couch reading, writing or just surfing through the internet. Around 3PM, Penny fell asleep on top of her crayons, drooling on the floor as Harry chuckled at sight. He gently picked her up, a whine escaping her lips as she clinged onto him before he took her to her bed, pulling the covers up and leaving her there to nap for a few hours.

Harry figured that was a good time to finally call Gemma, sort things out. He let out a loud sigh before scrolling down his contact list and dialing Gemma’s number.

“Hey, stranger.”, Gemma spoke as she picked up. “Long time no see.”

Harry tried to chuckle along with his older sister but he just couldn’t..

“Harry?”, he didn’t need to see Gemma to know she was frowning. “What’s wrong?”

“Why didn’t you tell me Penny was doing bad at school?”

Silence. Harry could hear Gemma’s breathing on the other side of the line, he could perfectly the way she was probably nervously chewing on her bottom lip now.

“I did tell you she got in trouble.”, Gemma finally spoke lowly.

“Trouble is saying a bad word or refusing to eat her vegetables, not hurting other kids and crying in class over Paige, Gemma!”, he snapped at her. “Why would you keep that from me? Why would you wait until Za-”, he stopped on his tracks to correct himself. “Mr. Malik felt the need to call me into the school and talk about it? Do you know how that makes me look like? It makes it look like I don’t care which I do. I really fucking do. He even told me he _asked_ you to tell me and you still didn’t!”

“I’m sorry, okay?!”, Gemma was quick to defend herself. “You just looked like you had a lot going on, I didn’t want to make you even more worried!”, Gemma took a moment to breathe before speaking calmly. “I just thought if I convinced you to take her back to therapy, things would get better. I wasn’t expecting for Mr. Malik to want to talk to you personally.”

Harry ran a hand through his hair, pulling on it. One thing that annoyed him about his older sister was how entitled she could be. She always thought she knew better than everybody else and would get mad if things weren’t done her way. Fuck, she was so stubborn. And so was he, but this was beyond the point now. Gemma might be older than him, but she didn’t have kids. She wasn’t Penelope’s parent. He was.

“For the last time, I’m not taking her back to therapy.”, Harry spoke sternly. “And you didn’t have the right to do that, Gem. I know you’re worried about me, okay? I get it. But Penny is _my_ daughter. I’m the _only_ parent she has. Beyond worried about her is part of my life. Taking care of her is my responsibility. Making sure she is okay.”, Harry gave her a moment to take in his words. “I’m scheduling another meeting with Mr. Malik, so Penny and I can both talk to him about this. Just, _please_ , stop trying to replace Paige. You can’t do that. I can’t do that.”

An uncomfortable silence settled in between the call, the tension waiting to be broken. One of them would have to give in and it wasn’t going to be Harry. Not with Penny, _never_ with Penny.

“I’m sorry.”, Gemma sighed, her words finally sounding sincere. “I just love you both, too much sometimes.”, she chuckled lightly. “You’re right, yeah? I won’t be so pushy anymore… And I think it’s great that you’re going to talk to Mr. Malik.”

“I love you too.”, he smiled lightly. “Want to come over for dinner?”

“Can’t.”, Gemma paused for a moment. “Got a date tonight.”

“Well, look at you.”, Harry grinned. “Have fun, yeah? Let me know if you need me to come and kick his ass.”

Gemma chuckled at his playful words. “I will. Talk to you later, yeah?”

And with that she hung up.

 

+++

 

Zayn Malik was quite the name.

That’s what Harry found himself thinking about as he daydreamed at work. It was a slow day, so there wasn’t much to be done other than focus his entire attention on Zayn Malik. Harry thought it was unfair how everything about was beautiful. Even his name. Zayn Malik. It sounded so nice, he loved it. It had a nice meaning as well, Harry found through a quick google search. Beautiful king. That was quite fitting. The quick google search turned into another, and another, and Harry suddenly found himself stalking Zayn’s instagram page. His pictures did not do him justice, Harry decided. Not that Zayn looked back in them, no. Harry doubted Zayn could ever look bad for that matter, but he was just so much prettier in person. You’d never think Zayn was an infant school teacher based on his instagram. A few selfies, pictures of his tattoos, vintage video games. Even one of him tattooing somebody. Zayn also seemed to have a soft side for animals. He was just so _cool_. Harry wanted to get to know him better, find out the meaning behind his tattoos and how many pets he had. What was his favorite video game? Or comic? Did he prefer coffee or tea? Also, where did his name come from? Zayn Malik, there was a story behind that. Harry was wondering why his mind was so fixated on Zayn that Monday until he remembered he was supposed to be calling him after work to schedule a meeting. He was nervous to speak to Zayn again, just the memory of his silk like voice was enough to have the annoying butterflies in his stomach flapping around.

By 7PM, he had the store closed down and was leaning outside, trying to build the courage to dial Zayn’s number.

“Harry?”, Zayn said as he picked up.

“Hey, Zayn.”, Harry couldn’t help but let a small smile creep in. “How are you?”

“I’m good…”, Zayn trailed off, clearly confused. “What about you? And Penny?”

“I’m good! And so is Penny. In fact, that’s why I’m calling you.”, he paused for a moment. “I talked to Penny about what’s going on and I think it would be best if we could have a meeting, the three of us. There’s something she wants to tell you.”

“Oh.”, Harry could hear Zayn rubbing his beard. “Alright. How does… tomorrow right after school work for you? You can pick Penny up and just stay a while longer.”

“I just need to talk to my boss and see if I can get off early.”, he played with his bottom lip in between his fingers. “But I will let you know if I can’t make it.”

“Alright, sounds good. Is that all?”

Harry began walking towards his car as they spoke.

“How was Penny today?”, he mumbled. “Was she better?”

Although Harry truly was interested in knowing about Penny, he also wanted an excuse to prolong his conversation with Zayn.

“She was actually.”, Harry smiled at that as he opened the driver’s seat. “She didn’t get in any fights, was still a bit bratty though.”, he chuckled.

“Well, brat is practically her middle name so I’m not surprised.”, Harry chuckled along with him as he buckled his seatbelt. “I’m glad to know she did better though. I will make sure to give her ice cream for dessert now.”

“She deserves it.”, Zayn laughed lightly. “Whatever you said to her, it worked.”

“That makes me happy…”, Harry trailed off.

An awkward silence settled between them and Harry hated it. There was so much he wanted to say yet it didn’t seem appropriate. He wanted to ask Zayn about his day and tell him he had been on his mind. He wanted to know what was Zayn doing and joke about him coming over for dinner with him and Penny. Harry wanted much more than awkward conversations with Zayn yet he couldn’t find the words to say that.

“Well, I gotta go now…”, Harry could hear a faint meow on the background. “See you tomorrow.”

“See ya.”

Harry simply said as he swallowed the unsaid words clogging his throat.

 

+++

 

Harry loved his bosses. The shop he worked at was owned by an elderly couple and they were just lovely. To begin with, they were very sympathetic to the fact Harry was a single father at such a young age. They never complained when Harry had to take sudden days off because Penny woke up feeling ill or said no when Harry asked if Penny could come to work with him because her classes got cancelled. They also adored little Penelope. Every now and then they’d bring a sweet treat or small gift for Harry to bring it home to Penny. They’d say she reminded them of their only daughter who had passed years back. Most people would find it morbid, but Harry thought it was sweet. If Penelope could put their wounded hearts at ease, then so be it. That’s why it was no surprise when the couple didn’t mind to give him an early leave at such a short notice.

At 3:42PM, Harry was waiting outside of Penelope’s classroom. He knew she got off at 3:45PM so he had some time to give his hair a little more fixing. As ridiculous as it sounded, Harry tried to look good for this. He spent extra time in the morning to shave, style his hair and apply some of his favorite cologne. Instead of his usual band shirt and ripped pants, he went for a pair of skinny jeans, his favorite boots and a cable knit sweater. He almost went for see through button down that he wouldn’t exactly button instead, but then he remembered he was meeting him at his daughter’s school and that probably wasn’t a good idea. Harry could hear a commotion coming from inside the classroom and he could see all the kids getting up to pick up their backpacks. It was adorable to see Zayn getting them to form a line so he could lead them to the pick-up area to meet their parents. He stepped aside as the honey skinned boy opened the door and was quickly met by a gasp leaving Penelope’s lips.

“Daddy!”, the girl squealed as she ran up to him, practically jumping onto him.

“Jesus, love.”, he chuckled as he securely picked her up. “Easy there.”

“You never pick me up, Daddy!”, she spoke excitedly, a bright smile on her face.

Harry wanted to frown at that, but he couldn’t so he didn’t.

“Mhm, we’re gonna have a talk with Mr. Malik today remember, love?”

Harry side-eyed Zayn who just smiled and nodded.

“You can wait in the classroom.”, he spoke as he walked down the hallway with his front facing the line of kids. “I’ll be back in a second.”

Next thing he knew, Zayn was singing some sort of rhyme about walking in a line. Something about trains, or whatever. Zayn had quite the nice voice, of course. Harry wouldn’t be surprised if Zayn was quite at every possible thing at this point. His entire existence was unfair.

“Daddy, let’s go inside!”, Penny spoke as she squirmed on his arms. “I want to show you my classroom!”

With a warm smile, he settled Penny down and let her led the way. The little girl excitedly stumbled over her words, speaking so fast Harry could barely understand her. She explained everything from the arts and craft station to the drawers filled with numerous types of toys and took her time to point out every single drawing of hers hanging on the wall. Harry was happy to see he was featured in most of her drawings, however saddened when a blonde female figure stood with Penny in some of them. Paige. Penelope seemed to remember how her mother looked like, or at least had an general idea of it. No wonder she couldn’t let go of her.

“I love them, Pen-Pen.”, Harry spoke with a smile. “You need to make some for us to hang at home, yeah?”

Penny smiled brightly at the decision and started rambling about her day. It took about 10 minutes until Zayn was walking back into the classroom, a red lipstick stain on his cheek.

“Sorry, the moms always want to chat.”, he mumbled embarrassedly. “I’m ready for you now.”

Harry had to suppress a chuckle. _Of course they want to chat with you. Have you looked at yourself?_ That’s what Harry wanted to say but couldn’t. Instead, he decided for something more subtle.

“You got a little something on your cheek.”

“What?”, Zayn asked as he rubbed his cheek, groaning as he saw the red stain on his palm. “Swear they’re going to get me in trouble someday.”

Zayn mumbled lowly as he moved to grab a issue and finished cleaning his cheek.

“If only they knew.”, Harry mumbled under his breath.

“If only they knew what, Daddy?”, Penny asked out loud with her head tilted in confusion, much to Harry’s luck.

“N-Nothing, Penny. Shush.”, he spoke in a rush manner as he searched Zayn’s face to see if he was angry at his inappropriate comment, however he found him laughing.

“You got that right.”, Zayn grinned as he took a seat on his desk. “If only they knew.”

Harry felt relieved at his light words, smiling at him as Penny pouted in a bratty manner.

“Why can’t I know what they knew?”, she stomped her foot and crossed her arms.

“Because it’s a secret.”, Zayn spoke in his best amused tone. “Like _top_ secret.”

Penny’s eyes widened at that, clearly engaged by him.

“Really?”, Penelope whispered. “I won’t ask anymore then.”

Harry was flabbergasted by the interaction. If that had been him, Penelope wouldn’t stop asking until Harry told her what he was keeping from her. But with Zayn it was so easy. The girl listened to what he had to say in a matter of seconds. Zayn Malik might not look like your typical infant school teacher but he surely had a way with kids.

“So,”, Zayn began again. “What is it you have to tell me?”

Harry had almost forgot what exactly they were doing here, snapping back to reality.

“Right.”, Harry cleared his throat as he moved to take seat on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs, Penny quickly moving to sit on his knee. “Do you want to say it or should I, Pen?”

Penny quickly shook her head, suddenly shy as she hid her face in her father’s chest.

“Alright.”, he chuckled lightly as he pressed a kiss to her head. “Penelope told me that the kids have been making fun of her.”, he allowed the teacher to take in his words, their gaze focused on one another. “Because her Mum isn’t… around.”

Harry hoped that was enough for Zayn to understand what was the status of Paige’s presence in Penelope’s life and by the way his expression shifted in a sad one, he assumed he did.

“Is this why you’ve been mean to them?”, Zayn asked softly. “Because they were mean first?”

Penelope slowly turned her face to Zayn, nodding sadly.

“They make fun of me because Mummy never comes pick me up.”, she mumbled with a frown. “It’s not fair their Mummies pick them up and mine doesn’t.”

Harry’s heart was breaking all over again, he couldn’t believe Penelope had to be made fun of over something like this. As if the pain of abandonment wasn’t already bad enough. Harry pressed a kiss to her head once again before looking at Zayn. He was shocked to find the beautiful boy tearing up. Harry saw more than just empathy in Zayn’s eyes, there was pain in his brown orbs. A deep cut. However, Zayn didn’t let the tears fall. He simply got up from his desk and walked over to them, squatting to be on the same level as Penelope.

“I’m so sorry they did that to you. That isn’t right.”, his tone was gentle, careful. “I will have a talk with them, alright? It won’t happen again. And if it does, you tell me right away. Does that sound good?”

Penelope nodded quickly as she sniffed. Although her face was buried in Harry’s chest, both men knew Penny was quietly crying, trying not to draw attention to it.

“Hey, Pen.”, Zayn leaned in closer. “Can I tell you a secret?”

Penny’s face turned at that, drying her tears with her palms as she mumbled a weak _yes_.

“My Mum doesn’t pick me up either.”, he mumbled as he smiled softly. “I don’t have a Mummy anymore and that’s alright. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Harry was shocked to hear his words. Zayn didn’t have a mother? What did he mean by that. Had she left like Paige? Or was it something worse? The thought saddened Harry. Suddenly the way Zayn was tearing up just a few moments ago made perfect sense.

“Really?”, Penelope mumbled a bit louder, a sign she felt understood. “Do you still have a Daddy, Mr. Malik?”

Zayn paused then. Harry wish Penelope was old enough to understand which questions to ask and which to keep to herself. It was heartbreaking to see the way Zayn’s face dropped at the question and he wondered what was going through his mind. Harry wished he could just hug the long lashes man then, tell him that whatever it was was going to be okay. The boy was about to apologize in Penelope’s behalf when Zayn spoke up.

“I do.”, Zayn mumbled, forcing a smile that only one person in this room wouldn’t be able to tell it wasn’t genuine. “But he isn’t nearly as nice as your daddy, yeah?”

Zayn chuckled at that and so did Penny. Harry smiled at the compliment although his words intrigued him.

“Because my Daddy is the best!”, Penelope squealed as she bounced on his lap.

Harry would never get tired of hearing Penelope saying that. The reassurance that he wasn’t fucking this whole parenting thing up meant the world to him. _The best thing that ever happened to me_.

“He is, isn’t he?”, Zayn smiled at his words as his gaze locked with Harry’s. “Your Daddy is just great.”

It was almost as if Zayn realized more than what he was letting out then. The way he was looking at Harry said something he couldn’t quite decipher. Zayn said he was great and he knew that wasn’t meant for Penny. It was for him, he was telling him that. Was this his way to say he didn’t think Harry was a selfish asshole that made promises but didn’t keep them? His way to say he understood why he didn’t call and it was alright. _It’s fine. I get it. I think you’re great_.

“Is there anything else you wanted to tell me, Penny?”, Zayn broke their shared gaze, looking back at Penelope.

“No.”, she shook her head as she clumsily got off of Harry’s lap, tightly hugging Zayn. “Thank you, Mr. Malik.”

Harry saw a spark flash in Zayn’s eyes as he face went from surprised to warm, a smile forming on his lips before he allowed his eyes to fall shut and hugged her back. Harry understood it then, why Zayn did what he did. He could see the genuine care Zayn had for his daughter all over his face. And that was probably how he was with every kid in his class. That made him happy. To see Penelope and Zayn sharing such a special moment, embraced together in a hug that was saying more than a thousand word. The only thing he hated was how he became more and more fucked by Zayn by the second. The perfect boy with his perfect face and perfect heart. Harry remembered all the anxiety he felt as he thought about all the reasons him and Zayn would never work out. The sadness he felt when he realized he would never be able to balance his life between Penny and Zayn because Zayn would never understand it. Except he would. It was almost as it all the warning alarms stopped going off in his brain. As he watched Zayn hug Penelope, something changed in him. And maybe that was why he said his next words.

“Penny and I are going to get frozen yogurt after this.”, Harry blurted out. “Do you want to join us? My treat.”

Harry could barely believe the words that had just come from his mouth and he would chase them back in if he could. The godforsaken butterflies were having a field day in his stomach as Zayn pulled away from Penelope to look at him with an arched brow.

“I-,”

Zayn barely had time to get a word out before Penelope was jumping in place.

“Oh, my god!”, she exclaimed happily. “That would be so fun. Please, say yes, Mr. Malik. Please!”, Penelope whined as she prolonged the first _e_ on her last _please_.

Harry wanted to scoop Penelope up and fill her with kisses right and then. If there was something Penelope had mastered, it was the art of making people agree with her. Her and her big cheeks, bambi eyes and angel like hair. Saying no to her should be considered a crime.

“I don’t really have anything to do after this.”, Zayn gave in as he scratched his beard. “And always enjoy a good bit of frozen yogurt.”

Thank god for Penelope.

 

+++

 

Harry and Penelope helped Zayn finish cleaning up the classroom before leaving. Zayn didn’t drive. Harry just found. He said he never learned how to, something about it giving him anxiety. _Who really needs to know how to drive in Manchester? There are busses everywhere!_ Harry also found out Zayn lived relatively close to the school, considering he walked to work and back everyday. _Good exercise_ . So, that was the reason why Zayn was sat in Harry’s passenger seat. This was odd, how Harry went from thinking he was never going to see Zayn again to having him sat right next to him. He liked it though. Liked seeing the little things about Zayn. The way he was always touching his beard and how he didn’t wear his glasses outside of school. He had to make a mental note to ask him about that. Penelope was so excited about the three of them hanging out that she wouldn’t stop rambling in the backseat and Zayn seemed to be quite entertained with it. He kept a conversation with the little girl all the way to frozen yogurt place, talking about everything from what they were doing tomorrow to what was Zayn’s favorite Disney movie. _Frozen! Olaf is my guy_. It warmed Harry’s heart to see how Zayn got along so effortlessly with his daughter, and how he wasn’t faking it either. Zayn was genuine with everything he did.

“Daddy, can I do it on my own this time?”, Penelope pouted as they walked into the annoyingly bright painted shop.

“Don’t know about that, Pen.”, Harry chuckled, thinking of how clumsy his daughter was. “You need to reach the machine first.”

“Hey!”, she glared at him at that. “What if you pick me up?”

And there is was, the pout of hers. Harry couldn’t just say no when she was looking at him like that.

“Mr. Malik can help!”, Penny squealed as she look at the brown boy. “You pick me up and Mr. Malik holds the bowl in place and I use the machine!”

Harry and Zayn shared a similar look and smile that was a silent tell of just how close they were to melting at the dimple cheeked girl’s words. As suggested by Penelope, Harry picked her up as Zayn positioned the disposable bowl under the yogurt machine. Penelope went for the chocolate flavored one, of course. As the curly haired child pushed the lever down, Zayn meticulously turned the bowl around, the yogurt falling in a perfect twirl shape. Harry was convinced Zayn was good at everything. Penelope grinned brightly as she watched at what “she” had done, thanking Harry with a peck and moving to hug Zayn’s legs the second Harry settled her down. They both smiled. The trio then moved to the toppings station after Zayn and Harry poured themselves a bowl of the original flavor yogurt. Penelope requested hers to be covered with chocolate buttons while Zayn covered his with mini marshmallows and gummy bears. _I fucking love gummy bears_ . Harry opted for fruits as his toppings. _You’re ridiculously healthy._

“All three together, please.”, Harry said as they stood at the checkout, smiling at the cashier.

“Are you sure?”, Zayn asked with a frown. “I can pay for mine, that’s alright.”

“No, no.”, Harry was quick to cut him off as he already handed his credit card to the woman. “I invited you, yeah? My treat.”

Harry could tell Zayn wasn’t all too comfortable with the him paying for his food, however he simply smiled and thanked him. Harry could notice an intrigued look on the cashier’s face as she watched the exchanged between the two men. He could tell she was trying to figure out what was their relationship. And how Penny fit into the picture. _Are you gay?_ Harry knew she was dying to ask them that. He was almost sure Zayn was, based on how he reacted to the female attention he received at school. But Harry considered himself bisexual, although he didn’t think much about that. He just liked who he liked.

“I wish I could eat frozen yogurt everyday.”, Penny hummed as she sat on Harry’s lap, making a proper mess as she ate her sweet snack.

“I can tell.”, Zayn chuckled as he looked at the way she had yogurt all over. “But then again, wouldn’t you get tired of it?”

“No!”, she quickly squealed. “I love it so much! I love it more than I love daddy.”

Penelope chuckled at that with a wicked smile.

“Hey!”, the father faked a frown. “Did I really lose my spot as your favorite to a bowl of frozen yogurt?”

“Honestly, it’s a valid competition, babe.”

 _Babe_ . Zayn stopped in his tracks and Harry almost choked on his frozen yogurt. Had he really called him babe? Not Mr. Styles, or Harry. _Babe_. The sweet pet name he hadn’t heard since that Saturday. Harry couldn’t help but smile small at that, moving his gaze back down to his dessert.

“It’s a bad habit.”, Zayn mumbled as he ate his cold treat. “Calling people babe.”

With bright eyes, Harry looked back up and saw Zayn was blushing. Fuck, he just kept getting better. Zayn fucking Malik was blushing ( _blushing!_ ) for accidentally calling Harry _babe_. Although Zayn claimed to call everybody babe, Harry could tell it wasn’t the case. He could this had a bigger impact on Zayn than just a bad habit. And he fucking loved it.

After that, Zayn quickly regained his posture. Harry found out Zayn and him had a matching tattoo. Penelope asked Zayn if he knew her dad had coloring all over his arms, Zayn chuckled at that. Penelope then asked what was his favorite and Zayn thought for a moment, looking up as if he could see his ink plastered on the white ceiling, before saying he _quite liked_ his Pink Floyd tattoo. Harry arched a brow at that.

“Pink Floyd?”, Harry chuckled. “Got one too. Dark Side of the Moon.”

“You’re kidding, right?”, Zayn chuckled as he pulled his sleeve up. “Guess we’re matching.”

Seeing Zayn’s ink again after so long felt good, intimate.

“No fucking way!”, he exclaimed but quickly regained his posture. “Sorry, Pen. Don’t say that word.”

“Daddy cursed! Daddy cursed!”, Penny chuckled as well as did Zayn.

“Oh, shut it, will you?”

Zayn and Harry got lost in a conversation about how _fucking_ brilliant Pink Floyd was. They were so engaged that Harry didn’t notice Penny hadn’t said a word in a while until Zayn pointed out.

“Think she fell asleep.”, he chuckled. “She really was sleepy in class today, eyes drooping and all.”

“She usually naps at this time.”, Harry trailed off as he looked down at her with a smile, adjusting her in his arms. “Doesn’t really sleep well at night.”

“Really?”, Zayn frowned. “And why is that?”

Harry then paused. He didn’t want to tell Zayn why.

“...Maybe you should take her home?”, Zayn mumbled as he noticed Harry’s discomfort with the question. “It’s almost six.”

Harry smiled at him. Zayn seemed to be very observant, good at reading people. He always knew what to say and when to change the subject. Harry liked that about him. Harry liked everything about him.”

“I should.”, he hummed as he reached for a napkin, carefully cleaning the mess on Penelope’s face. “Do you want a ride?”

“Oh, no, no.”, Zayn was quick to say. “Can take a bus from here, it’s alright.”

“Oh, come on now.”, Harry chuckled. “Why bother with a bus? ‘S my fault you’re away from home.”

“That is true.”, Zayn grinned. “It is your fault.”

“Oh, piss off.”, Harry laughed that. “I buy you frozen yogurt and that’s what I get?”

“Gonna have to do better than frozen yogurt, babe.”

Zayn winked at him before getting up to collect the empty bowls and bring them over to the trash. Was Zayn _flirting_ with him? Harry never knew with Zayn and it was driving him insane. Their relationship changed so much over the past two weeks that Harry had no fucking idea on how he was supposed to be acting around Zayn. But if anything, he noticed Zayn’s demeanor changed when they weren’t at school. Zayn seemed quite professional, and reserved at his workplace. But since they got in the car, he was relaxed, laid back. Noted.

Harry carefully placed the sleeping girl in the backseat, who whined for a brief moment before curling up in her seat. She looked peaceful like that. And Harry felt peaceful like this. Penelope asleep on the back seat and Zayn on the passenger side. Harry suggested they took the long way back, to digest the frozen yogurt. That was an obvious excuse for them to spend more time together and if Zayn noticed, he didn’t mind. He simply smiled and nodded. Harry still found it amusing how easy it was to talk to Zayn. There was never an awkward silence, there was never a running out of what to say. There was just chemistry. _So_ much chemistry. It was ridiculous really how comfortable Harry felt around Zayn. He hoped Zayn felt the same way which he looked like he did. Harry would glance over to Zayn every now and then and the boy always seemed to have a smile on his face. He looked relaxed for most part, except for his hands. Harry noticed Zayn restlessly fiddled with his hands, rubbed his thigh, or played with his rings. Almost as if he didn’t know what to do with his hands. Harry wished he would hold his.

“Alright, I’m going to need you to give me directions from here.”, Styles spoke as they drove past Penelope’s school.

Zayn helped Harry navigate towards his house and the closest they got, the more Harry’s chest tightened. He didn’t want this afternoon to end. He didn’t want to drop him off and go back to thinking about him and wishing he was there. Harry wanted this to be something normal for them, little afternoon dates with Penny. _Date_. Harry chuckled to himself. That wasn’t a date, no. Zayn probably only said yes out of politeness and for Penelope’s sake. He had made clear he didn’t want anything to do with Harry last time they saw each other. Right? Harry didn’t call. But then he did. Suddenly, the image of Zayn smiling down at his phone came back to his mind. Zayn liked him. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but Harry felt like he did. There was only one way to find out.

“This is it.”, Zayn mumbled as Harry parked.

And then a silence finally settled between them. The air was thick again, the tension keeping them apart. Harry wondered if Zayn’s heart was beating as fast as his was, but he wouldn’t dare look at Zayn.

“Well, I better go-”

“I’ll walk you to your door.”, Harry blurted out before Zayn could finish his sentence.

“Oh.”, Zayn was startled for a moment, but he soon relaxed in a smile. “Okay.”

What was Harry trying to accomplish with this? He had no idea, but there was no going back now. Harry took one more look at his peaceful sleeping girl to make sure she was in fact still sound asleep before locking the door and making his way around the car, hands buried in his denim pockets. The walk to the front door wasn’t long at all, and Harry didn’t have much to think what to do. Was Zayn expecting him to do anything at all? What if he got all the signs wrong? God, he couldn’t fuck this all up. Not again.

“Well, this is it.”, Zayn chuckled as he stopped right by the entrance of his building, turning to face the younger man. “Wasn’t exactly that much of a walk.”

“Yeah…”, Harry chuckled. “Just making sure you got safe.”

“Oh, yes.”, the teacher grinned. “These steps can be quite tricky.”

“I bet.”

Then they laugh, until their laughter died down and only the blowing wind could be heard. This was it, this was the moment. Harry was standing just a few inches away from Zayn, their eyes meeting in a nervous gaze. He could physically feel as if he could throw his heart up. He was searching Zayn’s face for a sign, anything. A look, a lick of his lips. Anything. But suddenly he was paralyzed, and looking like an idiot as he prolonged their staring contest for longer than he had to.

“Well.”, Zayn finally spoke, a hint of disappointment in his voice. “Tell Penny I will see her tomorrow, yeah?”

“Mhm, yeah. I will.”, Harry mumbled in embarrassment. “Have a good one.”

“You as well.”, Zayn smiled weakly before turning his back to Harry.

Fuck. There he went again. Harry let his overthinking get the best of him again. This wasn’t right, it just wasn’t. Maybe it was a sudden adrenaline rush, or the fact that watching Zayn walk away from him was one of the worst things he had ever seen, but next thing he knew he was reaching for Zayn’s arm.

“Zayn.”

“Yes-,”

Zayn never got to finish, for the second he turned around, he was met by Harry’s lips clashing against his own. Harry could tell Zayn was caught by surprise, based on the way his body was so tense under his touch. That had Harry anxious for a moment but soon enough he relaxed. Zayn’s brown eyes fell shut as his lips began to move in synchrony with Harry’s, sweet and slow. Harry moved his hands to Zayn’s waist, pulling him closer as Zayn wrapped his arms around his neck. The butterflies in Harry’s stomach were popping champagne in celebration. _Finally, finally, finally_. Harry felt like a kid with a school boy crush, but he loved it. He loved the feelings Zayn gave him, loved that he made him feel younger than he had felt in a long while. The breaking of the kiss was mutual, both of them slowly easing out of it with a few soft pecks and a chuckle as they went in for one last kiss.

“I really thought you weren’t gonna do it for a second there.”, Zayn teased with a smile, arms still wrapped around Harry.

“Wasn’t sure if you wanted me to.”, Harry smiled softly, squeezing his waist.

“Course I did.”, Zayn chuckled. “Did you really think I would’ve spent the afternoon laughing at your terrible jokes if I didn’t want to kiss you this badly?”

“Oh, piss off.”, he laughed with an eye roll. “My jokes are amazing.”

“Not nearly as good as your kisses though.”

“Oh, yeah?”, Harry grinned. “Guess I’m going to have to make a point of kissing you more often then.”

“Guess you will.”, Zayn smile lightly.

Harry then went in for one more kiss, a quick one this time.

“Really gotta go now.”, Harry mumbled as he looked over at his car. “Penny gets cranky when she doesn’t nap properly.”

“I bet she does.”, Zayn chuckled lowly, before biting down on his lip.

“You’ll call me?”

And there it was again. The question that started it at all. The universe gave Harry a second chance with Zayn and he wasn’t going to throw it away. Not again.

“Yeah.”, he responded with a smile, meaning it this time. “I’ll call.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“ _Really_ promise?”, Zayn arched his brow with a grin.

Harry chuckled at that.

“ _Really_ promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please, let me know what you think. :-)


	3. he built a fire just to keep me warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, guys :-) first of all, i'm SO sorry!!! i know this is incredibly delayed but it's finally here!!! a lot of things got in the way of finishing this chapter sooner (as well as it was hard for me to write it hehe) but i hope you guys enjoy it! thank you for the support & patiencce. <3

Harry called this time. The second he got Penelope in bed for her afternoon nap, as cheesy as it was, he called Zayn. 

 

“Long time no see.”, he joked as Zayn picked up.

 

"You’re ridiculous.”, Zayn laughed at him. “But at least you called.”

 

“You thought I wasn’t going to?”, Harry asked in mock offense. “So much for romance.”

 

“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time, would it?”, Zayn teased. “How’s Penny? Did you get her in bed?”

 

And so they talked, for two hours. Penny had had a particularly long night, so Harry wasn’t surprised she wouldn’t wake up until around 8PM. Usually, Harry (or better saying, Gemma) would never allow her to sleep for that long. Her naps would usually be for about an hour, starting around 4:30PM. But this evening he didn’t care. He just wanted Zayn. One hour into the call, they switched to FaceTime when Harry heard a _meow_ on the background of Zayn’s side of the line.

 

“Was that a cat?”, Harry asked excitedly. “Do you have a cat?”

 

“I will take it you like cats?”, Zayn chuckled. “I do. Want to see her?”

 

Harry then got the notification that Zayn would like to FaceTime, and he smiled at that. Harry loved they were so comfortable with each other, as if they’ve met years ago. It just came naturally to them.

 

“Harry meet Tiger.”, Zayn spoke with a soft smile as he picked the cat up, resting him on his chest. “Tiger meet Harry.”

 

The cat was fucking adorable; yellowish with black stripes. Harry chuckled as the cat stared in confusion at the screen, soon walking towards and knocking Zayn’s phone out.

 

“Oh, you little pest.”, he heard Zayn’s muffled voice, followed by a _meow_. “Sorry, she’s a bit of a brat.”

 

“I can see that.”, Harry laughed as he settled on his couch.

 

Now it was just Zayn on the camera and Harry was about to combust. The boy was shirtless, the ink on his chest and arms exposed. His long hair was tucked in a messy bun. God, he was beautiful. Harry almost asked Zayn to come over for dinner, just to be able to get his hands on him. However, he knew he couldn’t.

 

“Do you have any pets?”

 

“Just Penelope.”

 

They both chuckled at that as the conversation carried on. Harry gave Zayn a tour of his apartment and Zayn introduced Harry to another one of his pets: a lizard named Arnie. Harry got to watch as Zayn prepared dinner. He revealed he was from Pakistani descendance as he explained to Harry he mostly cooked desi food when he was home alone. Zayn Jawaad Malik, that was his full name. Harry loved it. Zayn told him about how he went to art school and his guilty pleasure was the show Girls. The only thing he never once brought up was his family, but Harry didn’t mind that.

 

“Daddy?”, a very sleepy Penelope stood in the living room, rubbing her eyes with a pout. “Who are you talking to?”

 

“Uhm.”, Harry gave Zayn an apologetic look, but the boy simply nodded with a smile. “Just a friend, yeah? I will talk to you later.”

 

He mumbled the last part to Zayn before hanging up.

 

“How did you sleep, love?”, he asked as Penny climbed on his lap. “Good, yeah?”

 

Just a few seconds later, he would get a text from Zayn.

 

_“Do you kiss all your friends like that?”_

 

Harry smiled.

 

**+++**

 

The days following their frozen yogurt date were good. Harry now started his days with a good morning text and a smile. He daydreamed about Zayn at work and called him as he drove back home. Although they couldn’t really see each other, they talked a lot. Texting throughout the day and whispered calls when Penelope was asleep. This is what he called the _talking_ stage when he was a teenager. Even if they had already done way more than talking, that’s what it felt like. They talked about it during one of their phone calls, chuckling about how they were doing everything backwards. Zayn vaguely brought up seeing Harry again and all he could say was _soon_. Don’t get me wrong, Harry wanted to see Zayn again. _Badly_. But it was difficult. To begin with, their schedules worked against them. Zayn was teaching from 8:45AM to 3:45PM, the only free time he had in between was during his lunch break. Which didn’t collide with Harry’s. When Harry was done working, he had to head straight home to be with Penelope so Gemma could finally go home. Harry wasn’t comfortable with having Zayn over just yet, and Zayn understood that. Since the events from the Saturday when he left Penny with Gemma, Harry can’t seem to get himself away from her for too long unless necessary. He liked Zayn, but Penny _always_ came first. Zayn didn’t seem to mind that though. And Harry loved it. He loved how understanding he was of everything. How he didn’t mind when Harry said he couldn’t talk on the phone because Penny was around, or how he was having difficulty to schedule their next date. He was willing to wait until Harry was ready and that meant the world to him. His whole life had been nothing but a rush for years.

 

Sometimes the longing was too much to handle though. It was on the one week mark from the last time they saw each other that their phone call took a turn.

 

“It’s been a week since you decided to grow some balls.”, Zayn teased with a chuckle.

 

“Oh, piss off.”, Harry laughed along with him. “I kind of miss you.”

 

“Just kind of?”

 

“ _Just_ kind of.”, he teased with a grin.

 

“Mhm.”, Zayn hummed. “I kind of miss your lips.”

 

“Yeah?”, his tone was mellow. “How much?”

 

“ _Just_ kind of.”, he could almost hear the smirk on Zayn’s lips.

 

“I miss your lips too.”, Harry risked in a mumbled. “Not just kind of.”

 

There was a pause. Harry could only hear Zayn breathing, swallowing. A bit of rattling of his sheets. He was worried he went too far or a moment.

 

“How much then?”, Zayn’s voice was lower now. “How much do you miss my lips?”

 

Before Harry could tell, his hand rested on top of his covered cock, teasing himself.

 

“So much that I-”, Harry cut himself off.

 

“That you what?”, Zayn encouraged him. “Tell me, babe.”

 

_Babe_. Fuck, why did he have to sound so sexy saying that? Zayn could make any word sound attractive if he wanted to.

 

“So much that I got off to it.”, Harry confessed.

 

Harry heard a sound escaping Zayn’s lips, he wasn’t sure what it was but he loved it.

 

“You did?”, his tone was eager. “You thought of me while you touched yourself?”

 

Harry hadn’t done this is a while, phone sex. Hell, he hadn’t done much of anything sexual in ages for that matter. However, he was good at it. He knew he was. Harry just needed a moment to get himself together and show Zayn that he wasn’t just the awkward sap he came off as.

 

“Yeah.”, Harry grunted, his hands now slipping under his boxers. “Thought of how you looked sucking me off.”

 

There was no going back then. They were really going to do this, like a pair of horny teenagers.

 

“Can you do it again?”, Zayn breathed out. “Think of me sucking you off? Can you do it now?”

 

Of course he could. He already was.

 

“Yeah.”, Harry mumbled as his fist wrapped around his dick.

 

“How do I look?”, Zayn grunted. “Tell me how I look.”

 

Harry could actually _hear_ Zayn touching himself. He almost moaned at that.

 

“Beautiful.”, Harry groaned out. “You look beautiful. Messy hair, wet eyes, swollen lips. Fuckin’ love it.”

 

A moan escaped Zayn’s throat and Harry couldn’t help but follow along with him.

 

“Wanna do it again.”, Zayn spoke lowly. “Suck you off again, taste you.”

 

Harry’s hand moved faster now, not being able to hold back the moans that insisted on leaving his lips.

 

“Fuck, I want you so bad.”, Harry moved his boxers down so he had more room. “Want you here, right now.”

 

“Come with me, babe.”, Zayn groaned. “Speed up.”

 

And so he did. For the next minute there was no talking, just the sound of two men jacking off and a mix of groans, grunts and moans. The way Zayn brokenly whispered his name had just become his favorite sound. Almost in perfect timing, Harry was releasing all over his stomach with a loud groan, suppressed by a lip bite as Zayn did the same. They stayed in silence for another moment, just hums and panting being heard as Harry swallowed thickly.

 

“We need to see each other.”, Zayn was the one to speak up first. “Soon.”

 

“I agree.”

 

And he did. He really fucking did.

 

**+++**

 

It took Harry about two more weeks to finally ask Zayn out on their official first date. Harry was surprised Zayn was still around, waiting for him. It warmed his heart. How understanding he was, and how much he seemed to like Harry. I mean, he had to. Why else would he wait around for him? In those two weeks, they got closer despite the lack of physical present. Harry referred to him as _baby_ , and Zayn hardly ever called him by anything other than pet names. The phone sex had become more frequent and Harry would even talk to Zayn when Penny was around now, however he’d still refer to him as a _friend_.

 

“Gem?”, Harry mumbled once she picked up. “How are you?”

 

“I’m good! What about you? And Penny?”

 

“We’re good, we’re good…”, he trailed off, hesitating for a moment before speaking. “Can I ask you for a favor?”

 

“Sure.”, Gemma’s tone was soft. “Anything for you.”

 

Harry smiled at that. “Could you stay with Penny on Saturday? Not all night.”, he was quick to say. “I just… Want to ask this guy out and I will be out for a few hours. But I will pick her up after.”

 

“You have a date?!”, Gemma squealed in excitement. “Oh my, who is he? What’s his name? Details, details, details!”

 

“Jesus, Gem.”, he chuckled at her excitement. “His name is Zayn, we met at a pub. You know, when I went out that Saturday.”

 

Harry thought it would be best not to mention that Zayn was Zayn _Malik_. Not just yet at least.

 

“Ha! I _knew_ going out would be good for you.”, Gemma sighed happily. ”I’m really happy for you, Harry. Just let me know what time you need me to come over and I will.”

 

“You’re the best.”, Harry spoke with a smile. “I will text you, yeah? Love you.”

 

“Love you more, bud. Talk to you later.”

 

When she hung up, Harry was smiling. It had been a while since he was able to do this, to allow himself to let someone in. He was glad he did. And he was glad it was Zayn.

 

“Babe.”, Zayn’s voice was soft once he picked up. “You didn't call on your way home, was worried.”

 

“Mhm, had too much on my mind. Then I called my sister, ‘m sorry.”

 

“No need to apologize, was worried. That's all.”, he mumbled before staying in silence for a moment. “Is everything alright? Said you had a lot on your mind…”

 

“Yeah, yeah.”, Harry replied in a rush. “I actually wanted to ask you something.”

 

“Oh.”, his tone was one of worry. “Go on then.”

 

Harry was nervous now. And for what? It’s not like Zayn would say no to him. They had been talking for weeks, were past third base, both expressed how much they wanted to see each other. Yet Harry couldn't seem to get the anxious butterflies in his stomach to calm down.

 

“What are you doing Saturday night?”, he started cautiously.

 

“Mhm…”, Zayn thought for a moment. “Was thinking of going to this art exhibition I really wanted to see, but nobody will go with me… Why?”

 

“Well,” Harry began as he nervously played with his lips. “Gemma is staying with Penelope and I was wondering if you’d like to go out… With me? Maybe we could grab some dinner and then go to that exhibition you mentioned.”

 

There was a pause. Harry’s heart was banging against his chest, the only sound being heard on the other line was Zayn’s breathing. And then a response came.

 

“Are you asking me on a date?”, Zayn muttered. “Like a date _date_?”

 

“I- Uhm. Should I not have done that?”, Harry stuttered. “You don't have to if you don't want to, I just-”

 

“Shut up.”, Zayn chuckled as he interrupted him. “Of course I want to go out with you. Been waiting for it, yeah? Was just surprised… Are you sure you're good for it? You don't have to push yourself.”

 

Harry’s heart melted then. How had he been so lucky to find someone that _actually_ understood his daughter was his priority? And was okay with it. Supportive. Had Harry known, he wouldn't had wasted his time in the past. Would've gone straight for an infant school teacher.

 

“I am, I promise.”, Harry reassured while a stupid grin took over his face. “Talked to Gemma and everything already… I really want to see you again. We can’t spend the night together though. Like I need to come home for Penny. And I can’t stay out for too long so Gemma can go home, but I-“

 

“Harry.”, Zayn interrupted with a soothing tone. “It’s alright, yeah? We can work around whatever is best for you and Penny.”, he paused for a moment. “I really want this, you know? Want to make it work. I’m so into you.”

 

_I like you._ Harry wanted to say, but he didn’t. Liking somebody wasn’t _that_ serious. It wasn’t love. And he was sure Zayn liked him. Right? Or was he just _into him_? Harry shook his head, snapping out of it. He needed to stop overthinking.

 

“Me too.”, he smiled softly. “So into you.”, Harry mumbled gently before continuing. “So, where do you want to eat on Saturday?”

 

“Oh, I know this Italian place that you’re going to love.”

 

Zayn then trailed off about the Italian restaurant, being overly excited as he described all the different type of pastas they had on the menu. But Harry found himself spacing out, his mind lost on how infatuated he was with a boy that got this excited over spaghetti.

 

_I’m so into you._

 

**+++**

 

After he asked Zayn out on Thursday night, all Harry could think about was their date on Saturday. What should he wear? Should he get a haircut? Zayn said he liked his hair messy, so he probably shouldn’t. What about flowers? Did Zayn like flowers? Or was that too corny? Harry was properly freaking out. He hadn’t been on a date in so long, especially not on one where he actually wanted to impress his date. Harry was overthinking every single detail. Should he arrive a bit early at the restaurant to make sure that everything was alright with the reservation? Zayn and him agreed to drive separately since Harry would have to come home, alone. What about at the art exhibition? Zayn told him during one of their calls that he was an art major, Harry would probably look stupid next to him. He actually spent a good half hour researching about the exhibition, trying to learn as much as he could. Another side of him told him to relax, just be himself and not force it. Zayn was into _him_. Not a fabricated version of himself.

 

“Daddy.”, Penny asked as she sat on his bed with her coloring book, Harry getting ready in his bathroom. “Where are you going tonight?”

 

Harry froze for a moment. All he told Penny was that aunt Gemma was coming over to stay with her for a few hours. No big deal.

 

“Mhm, going out with a friend, love.”, Harry responded as he gave his hair a last run through, walking back into the room.

 

“Is it that friend you’re always on the phone with?”

 

Harry chuckled. Penelope had always been a smart girl, and he loved that. He took a seat next to her and pulled her onto his lap.

 

“Yes, that one.”, he muttered as he leaned down to press a kiss to her head.

 

“Is that your very best friend, Daddy?”, she looked up with curious eyes. “You always talk about them.”

 

“Mhm, yes.”, he laughed lightly, wrapping his arms around her waist. “My _very_ best friend.”

 

“Is it a girl or a boy?”

 

He then paused. Harry always tried teaching Penny that there isn’t a norm for relationships. He never let Penny think that girls should be with boys and boys with girls and that’s it. And Penny was always very understanding of that, open to that. She had never seen her father with either, however. The only person she had ever seen Harry with was Paige, and they weren’t even together like that. Paige and Harry really tried to do the whole dating thing after they found out they were having a kid together, but it just didn’t click like that. They had no chemistry whatsoever and alcohol was the one to blame for them thinking they did. Harry thought Paige was attractive, but it didn’t go past that. And it was the same for Paige.

 

“Mhm, a boy.”, he finally replied.

 

“Can I meet him?”

 

_You already know him_. Those were the times Harry realized how messed up it was that Zayn was Penny’s teacher. The universe really did work in interesting ways.

 

“Do you have a very best friend, Pen?”, Harry changed the subject without answering her question, he didn’t want to lie to her, or get her hopes up.

 

“I do!”, Penelope squealed. “Her name is Coco and she loves chocolate buttons just like me! She always gives me when her mummy puts some in her lunch bag…”

 

Harry took a mental note of that. Chocolate buttons in her lunch bag. How had he not thought of that before? A sweet surprise on her bag every now and then. Harry almost unconsciously always found himself mimicking mothers. Whenever Penny brought a story home about one of her friend’s _mummy_ , he would take a mental note of it. He wanted to fill in the space Paige left in her life as much as he could.

 

“Daddy!”, Penny snapped Harry out of his trance with repeated pokes to his cheek. “Your phone is ringing.”

 

“What?”, the boy shook his head as he looked at the phone that rang on his bed side. “I’m sorry, baby. Daddy was daydreaming.”

 

Penelope giggled, and Harry moved to press a kiss to her cheek before taking his phone. He furrowed his brows at the number flashing on the screen, not recognizing it.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Harry?”

 

His heart dropped the second he heard that voice. A voice he hadn’t heard in almost two years. The boy was so astonished that he forgot Penny was sitting on his lap for a moment.

 

“Paige?”

 

_Shit._ That was all it took for Penny’s green eyes to widen and her head to snap towards her father, her lips turning into the brightest smile before she began bouncing on Harry’s lap.

 

“Is that mummy?”, the girl squealed loudly. “I want to talk to mummy! Please, let me talk to mummy!”

 

Penny begged as she tried taking the phone from him, but Harry wouldn’t let her. The boy was beginning to panic as the little girl stood up on his lap, trying to reach for the phone.

 

“It isn’t mummy, Penny.”, Harry spoke in a rush. “It’s- It’s someone else, I-“

 

“No! You said her name, Daddy!”, Penelope was angry now. “You said Paige, I know that’s mummy’s name!”

 

Harry didn’t know what to do. He had to drop his phone on the bed, so he was able to hold Penny down on his lap before she fell off it.

 

“Penny? Penny, it’s mummy.”, Paige’s voice could be faintly heard on the other line. “Let me talk to her, Harry. I want to talk to her!”

 

“Let me go, Daddy!”, Penny screamed as she tried to push his arms away. “I want to talk to mummy!”

 

“Penelope, calm down.”, Harry tried to be stern, but his voice was too shaken for that. “Let me talk to her first, okay? But, please, calm down.”

 

It took another moment for him to get Penny to settle down, sitting her next to him as he picked his phone back up.

 

“What do you want?”

 

“I want to talk to my daughter.”

 

“Are you coming back?”

 

Silence.

 

“You’re not talking to her if you're not coming back. Do you have any idea what you put her through?”

 

“I- I know, okay?! I just- I can't come back, Harry. Please, let me just-”, her voice cracked. “I just miss her.”

 

Harry had to take a moment to breathe. He couldn't look down because he knew Penelope was looking up at him with expectant eyes. Or worse, crying. He couldn't handle either right now.

 

“And so does she.”, he began. “She misses you, so much. Every night. At school, during dinner. You have no idea.”, his tone was cold. “Which is exactly why if you want to talk to her, it will have to be in person.”

 

“But-”

 

And then he hung up. Harry placed his phone on his lap and braced himself for what was to come. There was a moment of silence until Penny processed of what had happened. The girl slowly picked the phone up from her father’s lap and brought it to her years.

 

“Mummy?”, Penny mumbled. “Mummy, are you there? It's me, Penny. I miss you so much. Please, come back home.”

 

The back of Harry’s eyes burned with tears, having to hold them back. He could hear the pain in Penelope’s voice, could almost feel her heart tightening on her chest.

 

“Mummy, please!”, Penelope cried out. “I miss you so much, mummy. Please, please.”

 

Penny was sobbing now as she yelled at the phone; Harry couldn't take it anymore.

 

“She's not there, Pen.”, he mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

 

It only took a few seconds for her to snap.

 

“She wanted to talk to me!”, she screamed in between sobs. “Why didn't you let her talk to me, Daddy? Why!”

 

With the last word, the phone that resided in Penny’s hand came flying across the room, crashing against the wall.

 

“Penny!”, Harry snapped in startlement. “Love, please, calm down.”

 

But she wouldn’t, Penny just wouldn’t. Harry didn’t know what to do because this was the first time he was experiencing Penny like this when she was awake. This wasn’t just a night terror that she wouldn’t remember by the time she woke up. This was real. She wasn’t going to forget this, probably for the rest of her life.

 

“Why won’t you let me talk to her!”

 

The little girl was hysterical, face red from crying and Harry was worried she couldn’t breathe.

 

“I love you. I’m sorry. Daddy’s-“

 

_I love you. I’m sorry. Daddy’s here. I’m here._ Harry tried repeating his mantra as he leaned in to wrap his arms around her, but it was no good.

 

“Stop it!”, she yelled as she pushed him away. “I don’t want to hug you! I hate you!”

 

If Harry ever thought he had experienced heartbreak in his life, he was wrong. Nothing, absolutely _nothing_ he had ever felt compared to the sting those three words coming out of Penelope’s mouth gave in. _The best thing that ever happened to me. The best thing. The best thing. The best thing._

 

“You don’t mean that.”, Harry stuttered shakily. “I love you, I’m sorry. I just want what’s best for you, I-“

 

“I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!”, the girl kept screaming as she hit him with her little fists, tears running down her face.

 

“Penny, please, please, stop.”, Harry couldn’t hold back anymore, Penny wasn’t the only one crying then. “I will call mummy again, okay? You can talk to her, I-“

 

“No!”, she screamed. “Mummy probably thinks I don’t like her now! And now she won’t like me anymore! It’s all your fault! I hate you!”

 

With that last set of words, Penelope climbed out of his bed and run out of the bedroom. Harry had to take a moment to regain his posture, a loud sob escaping his lips as he searched for strength to run after her.

 

“I’m sorry, Penny. Please, talk to me-“

 

His words were interrupted by the loud sound of Penelope’s bedroom door slamming shut, following by the faint sound of the lock clicking.

 

“Penny.”, Harry panicked as he stood at the closed door. “Please, open the door. Please, please.”

 

The boy begged in between sobs, scared she would do something to hurt herself.

 

“Go away!”, Penny screamed. “I don’t want to talk to you!”

 

Harry was desperate not knowing what to do. How could he have messed up that bad? Why didn’t he just let her talk to Paige? _No._ He was right about not letting Paige talk to her, it would just get her expectations high for her mom coming back when she wasn’t going to. He’d rather have Penelope be mad at him and be there to comfort her than watch her suffer over somebody that didn’t care.

 

“I’m sorry.”, he spoke weakly. “I’m sorry. I love you so much. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

 

Harry just kept repeating himself, the sound of Penny crying being the one thing keeping him at ease. _If she’s crying, she’s breathing._ Harry’s thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his door.

 

_Gemma_.

 

Harry completely forgot she was coming over, and that he was supposed to be on his way to meet up with Zayn. But he had no energy to think about that. Harry would deal with Zayn later. _Penny always comes first._

 

Harry had to practically drag himself towards the front door, trying to build up the strength to face his sister in the state he was. Gemma always knew what to do, how to make things better. She had been his rock since he was a little boy and the other boys made fun of him for having such an old school music taste.

 

“I’m so sorry I’m late! I had to pick up my dry cleaning and they couldn’t find one of my dresses, so I had to wait.”, Gemma rumbled as she walked right past him into the apartment. “I tried calling but you didn’t-“

 

And that was when Gemma turned around and was at a loss of words.

 

“Harry, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”, she rushed to cup his cheeks, looking around. “Where’s Penny? Is she okay?”

 

“I just-“

 

Harry couldn’t even begin his sentence, he just broke down. He cried like he hadn’t in a long time, Gemma quickly pulling him into a tight hug and soothingly playing with his hair.

 

“Harry.”, her voice was shaky. “Just tell me if Penny is okay. Please.”

 

He needed another moment to recompose himself, just crying quietly as he held onto Gemma for dear life. Much like he did when he was a little boy. Eventually, he pulled away, drying his tears and sniffling. He then took a deep breath and spoke slowly.

 

“Paige called.”, he let out a deep breath. “She wanted to talk to Penny, but she wasn’t going to come. So, I didn’t let her. Penny is really upset, she won’t leave her room.”, the boy spoke in a ramble. “Threw my phone at the wall, wouldn’t let me touch her, said she hated me.”

 

His voice cracked at the last bit, his heart still swollen with the words that escaped his daughter’s lips. Gemma just stared at him for a moment, trying to process everything Harry had just said to her.

 

“You shouldn’t have picked up the phone in front of her.”, Gemma’s tone was soft. “But you were right to not let her talk to Paige. The aftermath would’ve been worse.”, the girl stepped forward to dry his tears with her thumbs, before gently caressing his cheek with her knuckles. “She doesn’t hate you, she didn’t mean that. Let me go talk to her. Stay here.”

 

Harry nodded quietly at her, letting out a heavy breath as he watched his bigger sister walk away. God, was he grateful for her. He wouldn’t know what to do without her for the past years. Harry took a seat on the couch, being able to faintly hear Gemma knocking on Penelope’s door.

 

“I said go away!”, the little girl’s voice was muffled by the door.

 

“It’s Aunt Gemma, Pen.”, her voice was soothing. “Can I come in?”

 

There was a silent moment, before a click was heard and then a soft thud. A sign that Gemma was now inside the room. Harry let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding then, relieved that she wasn’t alone anymore. He allowed his now exhausted body sink against the soft couch, staring at the ceiling before closing his eyes. How had today gone so wrong? He was supposed to be on a date right now but instead he was a mess.

 

_Shit._

 

The date, right. Zayn was probably at the restaurant by now, waiting for him. Harry didn’t even know what to say to him, but maybe if he called, sounding like he had just cried his eyes out, Zayn wouldn’t be so upset. Figuring that Gemma’s and Penny’s talk would take a while, Harry found strength in himself to get up. He slowly walked towards his room, purposely taking his time past Penelope’s door, trying to hear what they were saying. He couldn’t. Once he got in his room, he looked around trying to locate where had his phone landed. A bruise was left on his grey wall and his phone rested face down on the carpet.

 

“Please, don’t be broken. Please, don’t be broken.”, Harry mumbled to himself as he squatted down to pick up his phone, taking a moment before flipping it around. “Fucking hell.”

 

The screen was absolutely smashed. Cracks and pieces of glass missing. Not just that, but he also could barely see his screen. Most of it was of a rainbow like color, and just small pieces of his background could be seen. From those small parts, he could tell he had a few unopened notifications and all he could think about was Zayn. Harry felt terrible. He wasn’t only standing Zayn up, but he couldn’t even let him know he was. He didn’t have Zayn’s number memorized and his work number led straight to the phone in his classroom. He didn’t know his e-mail, and knew Zayn was just as into social media as he was. All Harry ever found from him was an Instagram that hadn’t been updated in a while. Great. _Just fucking great._

 

Harry let out a sigh in defeat and left his phone on his bed before moving back to the hallway. He sat right next to Penny’s door, his arms wrapped around his knees and his head down as he let out a breath. The conversation was taking longer than he expected, Penny going from mumbling, to crying, to screaming and back to mumbling. He hated that he did that to her. That this was his fault. He promised he would always do everything he could to make her happy and now she was miserable. _The best thing that ever happened to me_.

 

“Daddy?”, Penny’s voice come out as a mumble as she peaked through a small opening on the door.

 

Harry quickly lifted his head up, smiling weakly. God, how relieving it was to see her calmed down. Although her face was still red and her eyes swollen from crying, he was glad there wasn’t any visible scratches on her body.

 

“Hey, Pen.”, he tip toed over his words, moving to sit with crossed legs. “Are you feeling better?”

 

The girl nodded slowly before opening the door and walking out. She looked down at her feet, swaying a bit as she played with her dress.

 

“I’m sorry I made you cry, Daddy.”, Penny mumbled. “I never saw you cry before.”

 

Harry frowned at that. How come Penny was the one apologizing when he was the one to blame?

 

“Come here.”, he mumbled as he lowered his legs and patted his lap. “You don’t have to apologize, yeah? It’s alright.”

 

The girl quietly walked up to him, settling on his lap and resting against his chest.

 

“Yes, I do.”, she mumbled. “I was mean to you, Daddy.”

 

Harry’s heart was at ease the second the girl was back in his arms, holding her tightly.

 

“It’s alright, okay? I’m not mad.”, he mumbled. “I’m sorry too. So sorry. I never want to make you sad. I love you more than anything.”

 

“I know, Daddy.”, she frowned as she looked up. “I love you too. I’m sorry I said I hated you.”

 

And then relief finally washed over him, the weight of the world leaving his shoulders. Penelope truly was his lifeline. He leaned in to press a soft kiss to her cheek, holding her close to his chest as she rocked them both lightly. A few moments later, he looked up to see Gemma smiling at them. Harry couldn’t help but smile back and mouth a “thank you” with a small smile.

 

“Daddy.”, Penelope mumbled as she looked up, her chin resting on his chest. “Weren’t you going out with your friend?”

 

Harry frowned at that.

 

“I should’ve been there at 7PM…”, Harry trailed off. “What time even is it right now?”

 

Gemma took out her phone to check the time and frowned. “Almost nine.”

 

A sigh escaped his lips. Their dinner reservation was at 7PM, the art exhibition closed at 10PM.

 

“God, he probably hates me.”, Harry mumbled. “Last thing I said to him was that I’d be running a bit late but I’d be there no later than 7:30PM.”

 

“Maybe he is still there?”, Gemma tried with a weak smile.

 

“I don’t know what’s worse.”, Harry tipped his head back, resting it against the wall as he kept his arms securely wrapped around Penelope. “Showing up two hours later with no warning or not showing up at all.”

 

“I’m sorry.”, Penny mumbled. “It’s my fault, Daddy. I can talk to him and say it’s my fault.”

His eyes dropped to the girl who was staring at her lap, his heart aching at the sight.

 

“No, no, no.”, Harry was quick to say as he gently tipped her chin up so they were making eye contact. “Don’t apologize, okay? It’s okay. I will figure out, yeah?”

 

“And he won’t be mad?”, she questioned with big doe eyes.

 

“Mhm.”, he hummed and smiled softly. “He’ll understand.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

_No_.

 

**+++**

 

            Harry decided not to go to the restaurant after all. He called the place from Gemma’s phone and they confirmed that Zayn did show up but left around 8:30 PM. He thought of calling the art exhibition, but Zayn was the one that had their tickets and knew all the information about it. _Fucking great_. Harry was cursing himself out for not paying more attention when he drove Zayn home that time; he was too focused on the boy’s lips for that. All he knew was that it was near Penny’s school. He could drive around a bit, but he doubted he could recognize Zayn’s building in the dark of the night. To top it off, he wouldn’t be able to fix his phone until Monday. If Harry was being honest, he didn’t even have enough money to fix his phone. He was lucky Gemma offered to pay for it, Harry accepted with the promise to pay her back when he could.

 

            Sunday was spent with Penelope and anxiety. He couldn’t stop thinking about Zayn and what he must’ve been feeling. God, Harry remembered a time in high school when he adorned a bridge with flowers and candles as a romantic act but the girl never showed up. He felt terrible, embarrassed, stupid. That was probably what Zayn felt as he sat alone on that dinner table. At least when Harry got stood up when barely a teenager, he was the only one on that bridge. The only two that knew about it were him and the girl. But Zayn? There was an entire restaurant watching him, knowing _exactly_ what happened without having to ask a word. Just imagining Zayn asking the waitress for just “five more minutes” and repeating “he is coming” every time, trying to convince himself more than anything. Then having to finally give in and ask for the check to pay for what? A glass of water and some bread? Or had Zayn get started? Fuck. The look of pity on the waitress’ face must’ve been horrible as well, maybe they felt so bad they didn’t even charge him. Harry wondered if Zayn had gone to the exhibition after all. It broke his heart that Zayn wanted to go _so_ bad and the only reason he didn’t was because he didn’t want to go alone. And now he probably did. Or he didn’t even go. Harry didn’t know what was worse.

 

“How long will it take?”, Harry questioned the worker across the counter who examined his phone.

 

“If the screen is the only problem, I’d say about 3 to 5 days.”

 

“3 to 5 days?!”, Harry let out groan. “Is there any way you can speed up the process?”

 

“Sir, your screen is completely destroyed. It’s even possible some of the system might’ve been damage as well. We’ll have to take our time with this one.”, noticing the look of despair in Harry’s features, he added. “What I can do for you is ship your phone overnight, but that’ll be some extra cost.”

 

“That’s fine. I will pay.”, he was quick to say. “I just _really_ need it back.”

 

And he really did. Even though he hadn’t talked to Zayn since he stood him up and probably had a number of messages and missed calls from the boy, he also couldn’t be away from Penelope all day without being able to be contacted if something happened to her.

 

“Daddy!”, he heard his daughter squeal the second he walked in. “You’re late!”

 

The boy chuckled as he leaned down to pick Penelope up, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Had to drop off my phone at the store.”, he spoke vaguely, not wanting her to be upset. “How was school? Good, yeah?”

 

“Yeah!”, she spoke excitedly as Harry carried her into the living room, waving at Gemma with a smile. “Mr. Malik asked about you.”

 

Harry froze.

 

“He did what?”, he blurted out, before clearing his throat. “What did he say?”

 

“Mhm, he asked if you were okay.”, Penny shrugged.

 

“And what did you say?”

 

“I said you were okay! I told him all about the cookies we made together on Sunday and…”

 

As Penelope trailed off, Harry spaced out. He didn’t even consider the possibility of Zayn being worried about him. Wondering if something bad had happened for him to not show up and then disappear for days. Zayn was so worried he crossed his own boundaries to ask Penelope about him. But he was okay.

 

_I am okay_.

 

**+++**

 

On Tuesday morning, Harry decided he couldn’t wait 3 to 5 days to speak to Zayn. The longer he waited, the bigger the damage was. At work, he made up a bullshit lie about having to take Penelope to the doctor so he was able to get off work early. Of course his bosses bought it. As Harry drove towards St. Mary’s, his mind was racing. What was he even going to say to Zayn? “I’m sorry for being the worst potential boyfriend alive”? _Fuck_. Harry _really_ liked Zayn. He never met anybody that was as understanding of his situation as Zayn was, and that was the only hope he had right now. Hoping that, for some miracle, Zayn would understand again. But that was too much to ask, and Harry knew that. He arrived at the school around 4PM. He remembered from the last time he was here that Zayn took about half an hour to fully clean up the classroom. As he waited in the car, he anxiously looked at his watch. The minutes seemed to be going by so slow. Around 4:20PM, Harry gave in. He walked down the colorful halls of St. Mary’s and stopped right outside Zayn’s classroom.

 

He froze.

 

Harry could hear footsteps and rattling inside the classroom, as well as Zayn mumbling some tune to himself. _He is right there_. His heart was racing, and his legs seemed to forget how to function. What seemed to break Harry out of his trance was the sound of the blinds closing in the classroom.

 

He took a step forward and knocked on the opened door three times.

“Yes-”, Zayn paused on his tracks as he turned around.

 

Harry saw every emotion switching on Zayn’s features. Surprise to confusion to happiness to anger.

 

“Get out.”

 

“Zayn-”

 

“Get. Out.”, Zayn seethed. “I mean it, Harry. _Out_.”

 

“Please, let me just-”, Harry tried as he stepped into the classroom.

 

“Let you just what, Harry?!”, Zayn raised his voice, but quickly controlled it. “Tell me whatever bullshit excuse you have for blowing me off? You can keep it.”

 

Well, technically that’s exactly what he was here to do. Except it wasn’t a bullshit excuse.

 

“Listen,”, Harry began as he locked the door behind him for privacy. “Something happened with Penny. I couldn’t just.”, he sighed. “I’m sorry.”

 

“You could’ve called. Texted.”, Zayn’s tone was no softer than before. “I sat alone at that restaurant like a fucking idiot. Then went to the exhibition by myself because I paid for the fucking tickets after all! Except I left in five minutes because I was feeling too shit to even enjoy it.”

 

Yup. Harry was officially the worst potential boyfriend to ever exist. Yet he wasn’t going to give in.

 

“I know, I know! And I’m _really_ sorry about that.”, he chewed on his lip nervously. “I know this is going to sound like an excuse, but I couldn’t call you. Penny broke my phone.”

 

Zayn laughed. “It does sound like an excuse, you were right about that.”

 

“But it isn’t! I don’t even have it with me right now.”, he said as he pulled his empty pockets out. “I was really looking forward for that date, I swear. I just- Please, let me make it up to you?”

 

“Are you fucking with me, Harry?”, Zayn snapped. “This date _was_ you making up for me! When you didn’t call! Remember?!”

 

“I-”

 

“No, Harry! Stop that.”, he growled out. “You can’t just keep playing with me like this, making promises you won’t keep. I told you I’d wait until you were ready, I asked you if you were! I _know_ your daughter comes first, okay? I do. And I would’ve understood if you wanted to wait a little longer.”

 

“But I didn’t want to!”, Harry was getting frustrated now. “I already said something come up! I didn’t do it on purpose, I-”, he let out a sigh. “You don’t know what happened.”

 

“Then tell me, Harry.”, he crossed his arms. “What happened?”

 

_Silence_. In that moment, Harry realized he didn’t want to tell Zayn what happened. Hell, he didn’t want to tell anyone what happened. After all, how do you tell somebody you’re the reason your five-year-old had a breakdown because you wouldn’t let her to speak to her mother who she hadn’t even heard from in almost two years?

 

“Go on.”, Zayn tried once more. “I’m all ears.”

 

“I…”, he dropped his shoulders. “I can’t tell you.”

 

“You can’t tell me.”

 

Harry shook his head as he looked at his feet.

 

“So, let me see if I got this right. You can stand me up on our first fucking date, but you can’t fucking tell me why?!”, Zayn was raging. “Can you at least look at me!”

 

“I’m sorry, okay!”, Harry’s eyes shot up as he met Zayn’s ones. “Just- Can you please fucking trust me on this one? I _really_ wanted to go to the date. But something really bad happened with Penelope, alright. And my phone _did_ break. But I don’t- I can’t talk about it, okay? Just, _please_ , trust me.”

 

“Trust you. Trust you?!”, Zayn threw his hands in disbelief. “From the first day we met, all you ever did was give me reasons to _not_ trust you, Harry!”

 

“I know, okay! Fuck, I’m the worst but- Please, just give me one more chance! I promise that I-”

 

“No, Harry! No more promises, no more excuses! I’m done! I’m so-”

 

Harry tended to panic a lot. And when he panicked, one of two things happened: he either froze or acted out of impulse. This time impulse won. Without thinking, he resorted to the first thing he thought would get Zayn to shut up and listen. So, he kissed him. Just like that, he crashed his lips against Zayn’s. Harry must say he was surprised Zayn didn’t pull him away, in fact he kissed him back. And it felt just like their first night. Eager, rough, messy. Harry barely had time to process anything, but next thing he knew he was being pressed against the door, a click on the lock being heard. Harry didn’t realize how much sexual frustration had built up between them until now, because just the touch of their lips had him half hard in his boxers.

 

“Zayn.”, Harry tried to speak in between the kiss, letting out a groan as Zayn’s lips now travelled down his neck. “Are we good?”

 

“What?”, Zayn asked aimlessly as his fiddled with the hem of Harry’s shirt, biting lightly on his skin.

 

“Are we good?”, Harry tried again, finding it hard to concentrate. “Or are you still mad?”

 

Zayn pulled away, staring into Harry’s eyes. “Is this really what you want to be doing right now?”

 

All it took was one look at Zayn’s swollen lips, dark eyes and messy hair for Harry to know the answer.

 

“Fuck, no.”, he said as he was quick to pull Zayn make to his lips.

 

From there, it didn’t stop. Harry’s shirt was pulled off as he worked on unbuttoning Zayn’s shirt, losing his patience and just popping his buttons. They had to take a moment to take in each other’s bare torsos, analyzing each piece of ink. They were so attracted to each other, it was out of this world. Harry was the one to switch their positions, Zayn now being the one pressed against the door. Harry’s lips attached to his neck, kissing and sucking roughly as Zayn hands traveled down his back, squeezing his ass tightly.

 

“Want to fuck you.”, Zayn mumbled, his hand coming down to smack Harry’s ass. “Can I?”

 

A faint whine escaped Harry’s lips, but he didn’t hesitate to reply.

 

“Yeah.”, he spoke breathlessly as he pulled away to look Zayn in the eyes. “Fuck me.”

 

He saw the change on Zayn’s demeanor, his eyes going dark. Harry couldn’t believe they were actually doing this. Having sex. In Zayn’s classroom. This had to be some sort of kink, right? Fucking your teacher. Well, technically speaking, he wasn’t _his_ teacher but that was close enough. Next thing the taller of the two knew, he was being guided towards Zayn’s desk. The brown skinned boy didn’t hesitate to clean his desk with a quick sweep of his arms, the sound of pencils, papers, and photographs hitting the ground echoing through the empty room; he would take care of that later.

 

“Turn around.”, Zayn growled against his lips and Harry took no time to comply.

 

As one hand worked on unbuttoning Harry’s annoyingly tight jeans, another searched for something in his bag. Harry watched curiously, trying to figure out what was Zayn so desperately reaching for. It was clear enough once a bottle of lube and a condom appeared on Zayn’s hand. Harry was getting nervous now, this was _actually_ happening. And he wanted it, God only knew how much. However, it had been years since Harry had been with anyone. Especially a _man_.

 

“Zayn.”, Harry spoke breathlessly. “It’s- Fuck, it’s been a while. Just… Slow, yeah?”

 

Zayn paused in his tracks, just as he had Harry’s boxers halfway down his thighs. “Of course.”, he mumbled softly as he leaned in to press a kiss to Harry’s shoulder, his covered erection pressing to Harry’s bare ass. “I will take my time.”

 

Harry couldn’t help but smile at that. He never thought he’d be able to tell somebody he was about to have sex with to go slow because he was a bit rusty, but with Zayn it was all so easy. Harry didn’t remember the last time he felt so comfortable with someone. Especially with a man. You see, sex with women was straightforward. He had no problem getting a girl wet, it was easy. But with guys? There had to be a whole preparation and understanding before getting to _that_ point. And maybe that’s why he loved it so much. He loved how much time and patience that had to be put into sex when it came to men. He loved the connection. And Zayn clearly did as well. He took his time with opening him up, carefully and gently. Zayn listened to his every moan, plead and instruction. He didn’t rush through it, he didn’t complain. It felt nice to know Zayn wanted this to be pleasurable for both of them.

 

“Zayn.”, Harry spoke breathlessly. “I’m good, I’m good.”

 

Zayn simply nodded and removed his fingers from Harry. The next moments were filled with nothing but anticipation as Zayn pulled his pants and boxers down, Harry having to glance over his shoulder to take a glimpse of what he had been missing. He watched as Zayn pumped his dick for a moment before slipping the condom on and sleeking himself up with lube.

 

“Ready?”, Zayn mumbled as he carefully held onto Harry’s hips, aligning himself with his entrance. “I will start slow.”

 

A whimper escaped Harry’s lips as he felt Zayn slowly pushing into him; the mix of pleasure and pain having his green eyes rolling back. Once the boy was fully pressed into him, they both let out a groan, Zayn’s lips attaching to his shoulder before he began thrusting.

 

“Fucking hell.”, Zayn growled lowly. “Feel so fucking good, babe.”

 

It didn’t take long until the pleasure overcame any discomfort caused by Zayn stretching Harry, and the taller of two began pleading for more.

 

“Faster- Fuck.”, Harry let out a breathless moan. “You can go faster now. Harder.”

 

And so Zayn did, he fucked into him so harshly that the desk was having a hard time standing in place.

 

“Not so loud, babe.”, Zayn mumbled as he moved his hand to cover Harry’s mouth. “We can’t be heard.”

 

Harry nodded as he cried into Zayn’s hand, trying his best to keep it down. But fuck, was it hard. The fact Harry hadn’t been properly fucked in so long and the first time in a while had been with someone like Zayn was just too much for him to handle. He knew it wouldn’t take long for him to cum. With a sweat covered body and reddened skin, Zayn picked up his pace. He now thrusted fully in and out of Harry, his skin slapping against Harry’s with no mercy. Harry’s breaking point was when Zayn’s free hand came around his body and wrapped around his leaking cock, jerking him off at the same time as he fucked into him.

 

“Zayn!”, he moaned in a muffled scream. “I’m going to-”

 

He never got to finish his sentence. In no time, Harry was coming down all over Zayn’s fist, his body jolting as he held tightly onto the table for support before collapsing. He breathed heavily as he allowed Zayn to keep going for a little longer, his thrusts getting sloppier until he finally orgasmed.

 

“Fuck.”, Zayn panted as he slowly rode out his high. “That was amazing.”

 

Once Zayn came to a stop, he removed himself from Harry and leaned down to kiss his sweaty skin, his belly pressing to Harry’s back.

 

“Yeah…”, Harry spoke tiredly. “It really fucking was worth the wait.”

 

They both chuckled before Zayn moved away from him, removing the used condom and making a note to get rid of it away from the school.

 

“This is your last chance, Harry.”, Zayn now spoke seriously as they both got dressed back up. “I mean it.”

 

“I know.”, Harry mumbled as he lazily walked towards Zayn, his lips attaching to Zayn’s in a slow manner. “I know.”

 

And he did. He _really_ did.

 

**+++**

 

_1 month later_.

 

“Do you come here often?”

 

Harry froze as he felt a set of arms wrapping around his waist from behind, but quickly relaxing once the familiar smell of the cologne he grew to adore invaded his nostrils.

 

“Only when my boyfriend makes me.”

 

Harry chuckled as he turned around to press his lips to Zayn’s. Yes, _boyfriend_. Since the day Zayn and Harry fucked their problems away, everything has been just… Right. Harry really kept his promise of not messing up anymore, and Zayn was quite happy about that. However, dating wasn’t exactly easy. For starters, Penelope didn’t know. Harry had no idea how to explain to her he was dating her teacher, and Zayn didn’t really want him to. It was a mutual agreement that Zayn coming out at work while dating one of his student’s father wasn’t the best idea. So most of their relationship happened on the weekends. Fridays were still Penny’s days, that would never change. However, every Saturday, Harry had Gemma be with Penny and dedicated the whole day and most of the night to Zayn. It wasn’t ideal, but they were happy. Sometimes they even managed to sneak some lunch dates in throughout the week or make up random teacher-parent conferences just so they could be together for a moment.

 

“Here.”, Zayn pulled away before handling Harry a cold, blood colored drink over to Harry. “Bloody Mary, as requested.”

 

“Thank you, babe.”, he kissed Zayn once more before taking a sip from his drink. “What did you get?”

 

“Rum and coke.”, Zayn answered with a shrug before scrunching his face. “Still can’t believe you like tomato juice mixed with vodka.”

 

“It’s amazing.”

 

“It’s disgusting.”

 

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it!”

 

“I’ll pass.”

           

And so they both laughed. This had become a constant discussion between the two. Harry will never forget when Zayn first found out his favorite drink on a night out was Bloody Mary. He was so outraged that he went on an hour long rant about how disgusting that was and listed about thirty things he’d rather drink before having tomato juice mixed with vodka. His own piss being one of them.

 

“Don’t know if I can hide you from Gemma for much longer.”, Harry chuckled as he shook his head at the text he had just received. “She said if I don’t send her a picture of us together, she’ll tell Penny Santa isn’t real.”

 

Zayn laughed loudly at that. “She sounds like a fucking gem, no pun intended.”

 

“She is one.”, Harry smiled at the thought. “But she can also be a prick. She won’t stop bugging me about you, just keeps going on and on about my “secret boyfriend”.”

 

Harry rolled his eyes and Zayn chuckled.

 

“Come on now, grumpy.”, he smiled as he set his glass down, wrapping his arms around his waist. “She has the right to know, you know.”, he mumbled before leaning in for a quick peck. “After all, she spends her Saturdays babysitting Penelope just so we can go out together.”

 

“I know, I know.”, Harry groaned. “But she’d take the absolute piss out of me if she knew I’m dating my daughter’s teacher! She is annoying like that.”

 

“Well, you’ll have to tell her eventually.”, Zayn chuckled. “But for now, would you care for another drink?”

 

“How many until you’re wasted enough to dance with me?”  
           

“I’m dangerously close.”

 

“Barman!”, Harry yelled out. “Two shots of vodka, please!”

 

They both laughed at that.

 

**+++**

 

“Happy 2 months.”, Harry mumbled with a smile as he gently hit his wine glass against Zayn’s.

 

“And to many more to come.”, Zayn smiled before taking a sip of his wine and setting it down.

           

“Can’t believe this is us.”, Harry reached for Zayn’s hand, squeezing it for a moment. “Out having dinner to celebrate our anniversary.”

 

“Who would’ve thought you’d _actually_ get your shit together?”, Zayn teased and chuckled once Harry pouted. “I’m just teasing you, love.”

 

Zayn leaned across the table to press a kiss to Harry’s pout.

 

“You make me happy.”

 

“You make me happy.”

           

**+++**

 

 “Babe.”, Zayn moaned lowly as Harry straddled his lap. “You gotta go.”

 

 “Just a little bit more.”, Harry mumbled as he went in for another kiss.

 

That was usually how their dates would end, making out in cars, not wanting to let go.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come inside?”, Harry spoke breathlessly. “Gem told me Penny is already asleep.”

           

“Fuck, are you sure?”, Zayn pulled away to look him in the eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, I would _love_ to. But only if you’re comfortable with that.”

 

“It will be fine, I can come in first and after Gemma leaves, you can-”

 

His words were interrupted by three knocks on the Zayn’s car window. They both froze upon seeing Gemma’s small figure.

 

“So, are you two love birds coming up or are you making stay up waiting for another hour?”

 

“Fucking hell.”, Harry swallowed thickly as he slowly rolled the window down. “You have quite the amazing timing, did you know that?”

 

“I’ve been told that once or twice.”, Gemma smiled wickedly before taking a look at Zayn. “So, we finally meet- Wait a minute.”

 

Gemma furrowed her brows, the look of realization slowly taking over her features.

 

“Holy shit!”, she exclaimed with a grin. “Holy fucking shit! That’s Penny’s teacher, isn’t it? Harry, you’re such a slag!”

 

Zayn’s face turned dark red as Harry’s eyes widened.

 

“Gemma!”, he glared at his older sister. “Keep it down, fuck.”

 

The girl let out a loud laughter. “So, _that’s_ why you wouldn’t let me meet him! It makes sense now.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”, Harry grunted. “Just- Please, don’t tell anyone? He isn’t-”

 

“I know, I know.”, Gemma rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t born yesterday, darling. Anyway, if I were you, I’d come up stairs because I gotta go. It was a pleasure seeing you again, Mr. Malik.”, she grinned teasingly.

 

“Pleasure is all mine, Ms. Style-”, he cleared his throat. “Gemma.”

 

The girl chuckled one last time before leaving the two boys alone.

 

“Fuck, I’m sorry about that.”, Harry mumbled as he looked down at Zayn. “She can be a proper prick when she wants to.”

 

“That’s alright.”, Zayn chuckled as he squeezed Harry’s hips. “At least the cat is out of the bag now, yeah?”

 

“I suppose.”, Harry smiled before leaning down kiss Zayn’s lips once more. “Still want to come up?”

 

“Mhm, think I better not.”, it was now Zayn’s turn to lean in for a kiss. “But I will next time, promise.”

 

“ _Really_ promise?”, Harry teased.

 

“ _Really_ promise.”

 

**+++**

 

“Open it already.”, Zayn grunted as his lips were all over Harry. “Come on.”

 

“I’m trying, I’m trying!”, Harry spoke in a rushed tone as he fought against his door.

           

As promised, Zayn came up the next time. Harry waited until Gemma got in her car before getting in the elevator with Zayn. Fortunately, Harry lived on the fifth floor so they had a bit of time to bounce against the elevator walls while getting lost in each other’s touch. And that’s what brought them to the door situation.

 

“Fuck, I got it.”

 

The second they got in, Harry pressed Zayn against his door, a loud thud being made.

 

“Not so rough.”, Zayn smirked. “Don’t wanna wake Penny up.”

 

Harry grinned before taking his lips back to Zayn’s. It was almost as if Malik’s warning meant nothing, because it didn’t take long until they were stumbling around and running into surfaces as they tried to make their way into Harry’s room. Zayn’s shirt got lost somewhere along the way while the home owner’s was hanging by one button. They had just opened the bedroom door when a very sleepy voice had goosebumps running up their bodies.

 

“Daddy?”, Penny asked sleepily as she rubbed her eyes. “Who’s that?”

 

Harry looked at his boyfriend with widened eyes; they were both thinking the same thing.

 

_Fuck._

 

“Did we wake you up, love?”, Harry switched the subject as he walked up to Penny, Zayn quickly slipping into the room. “I’m sorry, angel. Let me take you back to bed, yeah?”

 

Penny sniffled and held tightly onto her teddy bear. “Can I sleep on your bed?”

 

Harry ran a hand through his hair, this couldn’t be happening. The plan was for Zayn to come over, stay for a few hours and go home before Penny could even notice he was ever there. Simple.

 

“Of course, Pen.”, Harry gave up as he looked back at his room. “Let just Daddy walk his friend to the door, yeah?”

 

The girl nodded sleepily as she began walking towards his bedroom.

 

“Wait, wait, wait.”, Harry spoke quickly as he rushed to scoop Penny up in his arms. “Why don’t you wait in your room, Pen?”

 

The girl scrunched her face. “Why are you being weird?”

 

“I’m not being weird.”

 

“Yes, you are.”, she whined. “Why can’t I go to your bedroom? I always go to your bedroom.”

 

“Because my friend is in there, Penny.”, Harry stumbled over his others. “After he leaves, you can go in.”

 

“Why can’t I meet your friend-”, Penny stopped before mumbling some inaudible words.

 

“What was that, Pen?”

 

“Is it Mummy?”, she spoke a bit louder as she looked up with teary eyes. “Is Mummy in there? Is that why you won’t let me in? I want to see Mummy, let me see Mummy.”

 

As Penny’s voice got louder and shakier, Harry began to panic.

 

“N-No, Pen. It’s not Mummy, it’s-”

 

“Daddy, why are you lying to me?”, her voice was choked up now. “Let me see her, please, I want to-”

 

“Penny!”, Zayn’s voice emerged from the room as he stepped out. “I didn’t know you lived here!”

 

Harry was in shock for a second but relaxed the second a squeal escaped Penelope’s lips.

 

“Mr. Malik!”, she grinned brightly as she tried to waddle out of Harry’s embrace. “What are you doing here?”

 

Zayn smiled as he carefully walked towards her. “Came to surprise you, of course.”, he chuckled lightly as he took Penelope’s from Harry’s arms, her hands reaching out for him. “Surprise!”

 

Penelope giggled as she looked back at Harry. “Why didn’t you tell me Mr. Malik was your friend, Daddy? I love Mr. Malik!”

 

“Mhm, because it’s a secret, yeah?”, Zayn whispered loud enough for Harry to hear. “Like _top_ secret.”

 

Penny gasped. “ _Top_ secret?”

 

Zayn nodded. “ _Top_ secret. Do you think you can keep that secret?”

 

“Yes, yes, yes!”, she nodded quickly. “I won’t tell anyone!”

 

The girl quickly zipped up her lips.

 

“Promise?”

 

“Promise!”, she then paused. “Wait. Can I tell aunt Gemma? I tell aunt Gemma everything.”

 

Zayn chuckled. “Yes, you can tell aunt Gemma.”

 

“And Coco? I promise Coco won’t say a thing-”

 

“No, no, no.”, he spoke softly as he shook his head. “Only us and aunt Gemma, okay?”

 

“Okay, okay.”, she mumbled bratily before looking back at Harry. “Daddy, can we have a sleepover?”

 

Harry had been staring in awe this whole time, the way Zayn interacted with his daughter. He melted at the sight of his two favorite people getting along so well. His stupid grin and endeared look only dropped from his features when Penny spoke up.

 

“Oh, I don’t think that’s a good idea, Penny.”, he spoke quickly. “Mr. Malik has to go home, yeah?”

 

“But Daddy!”, she pouted. “I’ve never had a sleepover in my life! All my friends have but me.”, she mumbled sadly. “Pretty please?”

 

Harry gave Zayn an apologetic stare but he was caught off guard. Zayn wasn’t looking at their interaction in concern. He was smiling as he watched the girl who clung so tightly to him. And then Harry needed no more convincing.

 

“Alright.”, he smiled softly. “But only if Mr. Malik wants to.”

 

Zayn now looked up at Harry.

 

“Of course I want to.”, he smiled before mumbling. “As long as you want to.”

 

“I do.”, he smiled as he walked towards the two. “I _really_ do.”

 

And so they had a sleepover. Zayn and Harry got cleaned up and Harry decided the way Zayn looked wearing his clothes was his new favorite sight. The three sat in the living room watching a Disney movie while Zayn and Harry secretly held hands in the dark. Once Penny fell asleep, Harry told Zayn about Penny’s night terrors without giving out much information, just enough for Zayn to be prepared for it. Zayn simply kissed his lips and whispered _it’s okay_. And when the night terrors did come, Zayn sat in silence, playing with Harry’s hair as he held tightly onto Penny.

 

And it was okay.

 

For the first time in a while, everything was _okay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think. :-)

**Author's Note:**

> please, let me know what you think! :-)


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